EuroEnglish

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Some Irish Guy, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. EuroEnglish
    The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phases plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".

    Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

    During ze fifz year, ze uneserary "O" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, v evil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas
     
  2. shop tom

    shop tom G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    Now THAT'S funny!


    tom
     

  3. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

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    Puts me in mind of the Germanglish you run across on U.S. military bases in Germany that lave local hires working there. A cousin of mine who did time in the Air Force sent me a picture of a sign in one of the shops at her base that said something like:

    "ACHTUNG! Das maschinen ist nicht fur fingerpokkin by dummkopfs! Keepen sie Mitts offen der kontrols!"
     
  4. bobvonb

    bobvonb G&G Evangelist

    ah, Mock German my favorite language

    gun = shootzenBoomer
    rifle = longisherShootzenBoomer
    Garand = eightenShootenClippenPoppenUndPingenShootzenBoomer
    muzzle loader = SmokenPolerShootzenBoomer
    shotgun (long) = himmelSprayenDuckenKillenShootzenBoomer
    shotgun (pump) = clickenClackenDuckenKillenShootzenBoomer
    African (safari) rifle = shoulderBustenGrosserBeastenStoppenShootzenBoomer
    22 rifle = kleinerPlinkenShootzenPopper
    223 = poodleHaltenShootzenPopper
    30-06 = AmerikanitzerGamenShooter
    6.5x55 = SveedichGamenShooter
    magnum rifle = grosserBelchenEarenSplittenShootzenBoomer
    Mosin = longishShootenTentenStakenShootzenBoomerPokenSticker

    wunderbar!
     
  5. 99dragon99

    99dragon99 G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    ROFL!


    That sounds like Stearns County German. Central Minnesota was settled by Germans. Their German was mixed with English....

    "Der Fuchs hat über den Fence gejumpt und hat den Cabbage gedamaged."

    British English and American English are similar but soooo different.

    Here is my favorite example:

    "I'm going out to light up a fag."

    In the UK it is ok to say this. In America... it will probably get you arrested.

    And all I want to do is have a cigarette...
     
  6. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    ^^ Agreed,

    Sounds like most Minnesotans, who have moved up to Alaska!