Financial Aid Application

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 15, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    Ah yes the colledge days....

    The New Finacial Aid Application

    Name (if any): _______________________________
    Middle Last First
    Address: _____________________________________

    Last 34 addresses: ___________________________

    Sex: __ Male __ Female __ Not Sure

    Are you an illegal alien? __ Ja __ Si __ Oui __ Da

    Annual income: $________
    (If over $3,000, where did you get the nerve to beg us for a loan?)

    Astrological sign: ____________ (Stop here if you're a Leo or Taurus)

    Grandmother's maiden name: ________ Her World War II service record?: ______

    Last book you read:
    __ The Joy of Saxaphone __ Mad __ Manhattan telephone directory

    Your favorite number from 17 to 39: __ (this will be the interest on your loan,
    if you're lucky enough to get one from us)

    Are you now on the FBI's "Ten Most Wanted" list? __ Yes __ No

    In 7,000 words or more, discuss the International Monetary Fund and its
    ramifications related to the Chicago White Sox infield and Victorian matters:
    (use back side, if needed)

    If you miss a payment on your loan, what is your preferred method of torture?
    __ The Rack __ Iron Maiden __ A night with Lawrence Welk

    Do you like to fill our forms? (We have more when you complete this one)
    __ Yes __ Goodbye

    Do you secretly like your father's Oldsmobile? __ Yes __ Maybe a little

    Do you sleep in: __ Pajamas? __ Underwear? __ Nude?

    State your college major. (Must be one of these to qualify for student loan)
    __ Swine diseases __ Harpsichord tuning __ History of chewing gum

    Do you still believe in:
    __ Santa Claus? __ Easter Bunny? __ Professional wrestling?

    Are you willing to be polygraphed, scrutinized, notarized, and steroid tested to
    obtain a loan from us? __ Absolutely __ Positively __ You betcha __ Sure
    __ Of course __ Certainly __ No problem

    If all of the above is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
    sign here in the presence of 12 witnesses (preferrably Supreme Court Justices
    and Nobel Prize winners)

    _______________ ________
    Signature Date

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Good, probably real knowing these days! :D