For Men:15 Things to do Wal-Mart While She Shops

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 15, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    For Men: 15 Things you can do at Wal-Mart while your wife/girlfriend is taking her sweet time shopping:

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
    2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens.
    5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
    9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
    10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
    11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
    12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
    13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
    14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'.
    15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly .. 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'.

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    I like to look up the manniquins skirts!:eek: :p

  3. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    The Holidays are coming . . .

    Build a city scene with the Christmas Village buildings, then pretend to be Godzilla.

    After finally finishing the paperwork for your new gun, ask the clerk where the ski masks and rubber gloves are.

    Go to the checkout with 24 cans of liver-flavored cat food, and tell the clerk you're supplying the pate for your wife's garden party.

    At the checkout, as the clerk rings up your four cases of "Sam's Choice" sodas and two spraycans of orange paint, tell her you like their prices on targets.

    Ask the ladies clothing clerk if she has some spare manequins, for your "tactical training" session.

    Take a package of steaks and a bag of Kingsford to the barbecue cookers aisle, and tell them you need to test one.
  4. Indy

    Indy G&G Newbie

    Fill a squirt bottle with Mountain Dew. Enter a rest room stall next to someone sitting in the next stall. Spray his feet with the Mountain Dew while saying, "Whoa big boy."
  5. taras

    taras Guest

    All good ones worth a try but Indy I am definately going to use yours. ( of course making sure the person is seated and I can run faster )
  6. Gonna have to try some of those my next trip to town.....some dang good ones, lol.