Foxworthy-Style "You Might Be A Collector"

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Cyrano, May 20, 2008.

  1. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

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    I got to thinking about it. We all have wisecracks about collecting guns. So I thought, "Let's see how many we can come up with doing it Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a redneck" style.

    You can blame texinmidwest for this first one:

    If you wake up in the morning and have Cosmoline with your coffee, you might be a collector.

    Onward.


    If you've ever had to think fast and tell your wife "No, this isn't a new one; I just haven't had it out of the safe for awhile," you might be a collector.

    If you've ever left the house with an empty gun case and come back with a new acquisition in it, you might be a collector.

    If you've ever had to call the dishwasher repairman to come and de-gunk your dishwasher's internal parts because you cleaned a stock in it, you might be a collector.

    If you currently own an Underwood M-1 Carbine and have your eye on a Rock-Ola model, you might be a collector.

    If you've ever traded a car for an Artillery Luger with a solid provenance and all its accessories, you might be a collector.

    If you've ever bought more than one gun at a time and told your wife, "Honey, you must be mistaken. I only got the one [fill in the blank]," you might be a collector.

    If you've ever won $500 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and blown it on a piece you've been eyeing in the local gun shop before you got home, you might be a collector.

    If you've gone into a gun show intending to sell three guns and walked out with four different ones, you might be a collector.

    If your wife tells her friends that the house is decorated in Early Terran Arsenal, you might be a collector.

    If you've ever been held up at an airport explaining to the customs inspector that no, you don't need a permit for that 170 year old jezail musket with the silver and turquoise inlay because it's an antique, you might be a collector.

    Okay, folks, your turn.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2008
  2. If you've ever spent 24 hours straight on G&G you might be a collector.

    If you've ever ordered 600 rounds of MilSurp and wonered if it would be enough, you might be a collector.

    If you've ever anguished over a counter bored barrel you might be a collector.

    If you have ever been in Big 5 and spoted a "rare" MN and could barely fill out the paperwork from excitement, then you might be a collector.

    If you name your rifles, you might be a collector.

    If you have more than 4 variations of the same rifle, you might be a collector.

    If you have ever filled out a "you might be a collector" thread page you might be a collector
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2008

  3. If you ever got ''Wood'' because of a Military mint wood stock...You might be a collector.

    If you ever slept with a Mosin rifle You might be a collector.

    If you have rifles you bought with no intention of ever fireing You might be a collector.

    If you have more rifles than exgirlfriends You might be a collector.

    If you would actually sell a kidney to buy an expensive rifle You might be a collector.
     
  4. Paper

    Paper I can justify anything. Forum Contributor

    If you buy two identical rifles at the same time so you can shoot one and put the other away, you might be a collector.

    If you have more gun safes than ex girlfriends, you might be a collector.

    If your house is on fire as you drive up to it, and you turn around to get away from the rapidly heating ammo, you might be a collector.

    If your co-workers ask "What did you buy this week?" evertime they see you, you might be a collector.

    If you're on a first name basis with more than one person at CMP, you might be a collector.

    If you buy mineral spirits by the gallon, to clean cosmoline, you might be a collector.
     
  5. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    If you have ever had the burning desire to run home during your lunch hour to tell your friends on G&G about the Mosin find you just bought, you might be a collector.

    I you faint at the sight of a star on the receiver of a M44, you might be a collector.

    If you go to Duhnams every Sunday and look at every new Mosin on their rack, you might be a collector.
     
  6. Mooseman684

    Mooseman684 G&G Newbie

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    If you sleep surrounded by rifles...You might be a collector !

    If you have more ammo than dust bunnies under your bed...You might be a collector !

    If you know what SA, KE, S, B, And VKT stand for....You may be a collector!

    If you have More than 3 Mosins...You might be a collector!

    If your gun collection is worth more than your Trailer....You might be a Collector !:09:

    Rich
     
  7. LMAO guys! I fit almost all of those.

    If you reload 7.62 x 54R to keep corrosive ammo out of your favorite MN's, you may be a collector.

    If you use more than a quart of Windex a month, and have no windows, you may be a collector.
     
  8. Guys, from one that sadly enough don't (YET) have a Mosin yet, those are GREAT!!!
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2008
  9. Mooseman684

    Mooseman684 G&G Newbie

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    If you collect used toothbrushes from you neighbor's kids...You might be a Gun collector!

    If you stop at yard sales and pawn shops looking for guns and ammo...You might be a collector!

    If you have more gunpowder than groceries stockpiled...You might be a gun collector!

    If you have ammo for guns you don't yet own...You might be a gun collector!

    If you "accessorize" your rifles with matching pouches, cleaning kits, and bayonets...you might be a gun collector !

    If you have enough primers stored to Blow up your house...you might be a gun collector!

    If your woman trips over guns getting to the bed...You might be a collector!

    If you save old Holy underwear and T shirts to clean your guns with...You might be a collector!:09:

    Rich
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2008
  10. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    LMAO!

    I fit all of the above! Except the one about the woman tripping over guns....I don't have a woman to trip on them anymore!!! :09::09::09:

    WAIT!!! I GOT IT!!!


    If you go through a Divorce because you just got your C&R (that she hid), you might be a collector!:09::09::09:
     
  11. Aarant

    Aarant Guest

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    1
    once a collector always a collector
    You stop collecting guns, as your wife STARTS collecting, you might be a happily married collector!
     
  12. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    God as my witness I miss Texas! That is where men are men, women are women and the goats are..........slow cooked over a bed of mesquite coals and served with Rice and beans!:eek:wned2:
     
  13. marion57

    marion57 G&G Newbie

    what it really reads is where the men are men and the women are women and the goats are Glad!!
     
  14. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    You might be...
    If you have more friends on G&G than you do in real life!

    If you can turn around right now and see 9 rifles...

    If you have cosmoline on your keyboard!

    If you have more ammo pouches than your wife has shoes...

    If you've googled Mosin Nagant and read every hit. Then did it again!

    If you ever snuck a rifle into the house...

    If you told someone how to sneak a rifle into the house!

    If you're planning to put a computer on your rifle bench...

    If you get your news from The Powder Keg!

    If you've been harrassed by Tex...
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2008
  15. Grumpus

    Grumpus Curmudgeon Emeritus NRA Life Member

    Geo: I think that reads, "If you've ever spent 24 hours straight on G&G you might be a Swede..."
     
  16. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    ROFL! Quit picking on us old guys TWM !!

    You might be, if every time someone gets something you dont have, you jump on Gunbroke and start looking!
     
  17. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

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    New York
    If you've ever had reservations about buying a particular firearm because you're not sure it's what the seller claims it is, and the debate on Guns & Game has helped you positively identify if and make up your mind either way, you might be a collector.
     
  18. gandog56

    gandog56 G&G Evangelist

    If you spend half your day in your reloading room making obsolete rounds, you might be a collector.
     
  19. Grumpus

    Grumpus Curmudgeon Emeritus NRA Life Member

    What old guys? I ain't no spring chicken... I got three score and a heart attack under my belt... Along with a bunch of stuff lapping over my belt...
     
  20. You are a gun collecter if you can't go to sleep at night thinking about that next gun you wanna buy !

    I do this often !!!