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Good vs Badddddddddddddddd!!

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 28, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    The Eternal Battle... And God populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach,
    green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so People would live long and healthy lives.

    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double
    cheeseburger, the Quarter Pounder with cheese, special sauce, and bacon. And Satan
    said to People "You want fries with that?" And People said, "Super-size them." And
    People gained pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt, that People might keep their figures. And Satan
    froze the yogurt and he brought forth chocolate, caramel sauce, sugar-coated nuts, and
    brightly-colored sprinkles candy to put on the yogurt. And People gained some more
    pounds.

    And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth creamy dressings,
    bacon bits, fried croutons, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream and
    brownies for dessert. And People gained even more pounds.

    And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to
    cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
    platter, plus southern fried chicken and Krispy Kreme donuts filled with artificially flavored
    butter crèmes. And People gained lots of pounds and their bad cholesterol went through
    the roof.

    And God brought forth running shoes and bicycles, and People resolved to lose those
    extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so they would
    not have to toil to change channels between ESPN, ESPN2, HBO, TMC and MTV.
    And People gained many, many more pounds.

    And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato,
    a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the
    healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he
    created sour cream dip and fried the skins. And People clutched their remote control
    and ate the potato chips and fried potato skins swaddled in cholesterol. And they gained
    a whole lot more pounds.

    And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And everyone went into cardiac arrest.

    And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.....

    And Satan created HMOs.
     
  2. Excellent! But, just when did Satan invent the internet?

    Oh! I'm sorry. Al Gore, actually, invented it.
     

  3. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Same thing man!
     
  4. MarkII 22

    MarkII 22 G&G Newbie

  5. I thought Gore invented the net.
     
  6. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Quoting NRAJOE - "Same thing, man!" Just add horns and a goatee. :D
     
  7. I knew someone would jump on that.