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Groaners

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Jun 6, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a deadgiveaway).
    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
    6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
    7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
    9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
    10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
    11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
    12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
    14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
    16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
    18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
    19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
    25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
    26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
    27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
    28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

    :nod:
     
  2. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    GROAN!! Enjoyed it very much.

    Did you hear about the dyslecsic (SP) Agnostic?
    Spent all his time wondering if there really was a DOG.
     

  3. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    I was colorblind and he couldn't spell.

    Big Dog:

    I worked with a guy who was dyslectic and thought of him when you wrote about the dog (ha). He was always mixing up words and spelling. I was colorblind and he couldn't spell. Made a hell of a team.

    Oxford

    :nod:
     
  4. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Got the joke from a lady programmer who was that way. She was still a darned good programmer. She took the DP course after coming into the Computer wing of our Voc. Ed. school by mistake, looking for the Statistics course. She liked what she saw, and began her DP career.