HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE Both look stupid in hats. Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. Both tend to have "hip" problems. Neither understand football. Both look good in a fur coat. Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say. Neither believe that silence is golden. Both constantly want back rubs. Neither can balance a checkbook. You can never tell what either of them is thinking. Both put too much value on kissing.