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How to Drive the Women in Your Life Crazy

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 24, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    How to Drive the Women in Your Life Crazy


    by Sandy Lindsey
    1. Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.

    2. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.

    3. Superglue the commode seat in the up position.

    4. Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

    5. Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.

    6. Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.

    7. Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.

    8. Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.

    9. Never give her a straight answer.

    10. Take up yodelling and practice a lot.

    11. Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh! Argh! Argh!)

    12. Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.

    13. Pretend you forgot how to speak English.

    14. Answer every question with "Yes, dear."
     
  2. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Number 4 and 11 with me all the time! :right:
     

  3. Eric

    Eric G&G Newbie

    673
    0
    USA
    I've been doing 14 forever...you just get in that mode, no need in arguing, just "yes dear"
     
  4. Indy

    Indy G&G Newbie

    After using the porcelain facility, lower the seat and lightly sprinkle water on it. When asked about the liquid on the seat, say but dear you asked me to always lower the seat.
    Indy
     
  5. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    I'm more likely to give my wife the #9 answer.
    Oxford:nod: