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How to Know if You're a Redneck Jedi

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jun 3, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    How to Know if You're a Redneck Jedi

    1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
    2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans.
    3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
    4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored.
    5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
    6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
    7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
    8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
    9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
    10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
    11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.
    12. Your master has said, ''My finger you will pull..hmmm?''
    13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
    14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
    15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
    16. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
    17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
    18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
    19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
    20. Your father told you, ''Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot.''
    21. You've had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que.
     
  2. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    #2

    You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
    You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

    Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

    You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

    At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

    You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

    You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

    The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

    Wookies are offended by your B.O.

    You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

    You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

    Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

    You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

    You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

    You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

    You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have toget in through the window.

    Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

    You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

    You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

    You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

    If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle"