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Humor - The best medicine

Discussion in 'Political/Religious Topics' started by grizcty, Oct 31, 2016.

  1. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    Roads in Alaska.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.
    An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me.

    Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America!" and took off before the light changed.

    Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.


    For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man... that could have been me!"

    So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver!

    [​IMG]

     
    rockman7, goat roper, Rocky7 and 12 others like this.

  3. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    ^^^beautiful story. Brought tears to my eyes.
     
  4. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    Merle likes this.
  5. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

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    neophyte likes this.
  6. SUBMOA

    SUBMOA G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    I saw enough not to click play ! Back up to your bad ways!
     
    grizcty likes this.
  7. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    Bad Spooker!

    This is a far more interesting picture. naughty.gif

    [​IMG]
     
    goat roper, Rocky7, Merle and 4 others like this.
  8. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    All you sickos who still hit play...no complaining. At least SUBMOA had the decency to pass.

    grizcty - that is d@mn near perfect
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2017
    Jaison, SUBMOA, grizcty and 1 other person like this.
  9. savage12755a

    savage12755a G&G Evangelist

    I must admit that I seconded Submoa's decision. I cannot afford anymore eye bleach.
     
    Rocky7, Jaison, SUBMOA and 4 others like this.
  10. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    I am smart enough to KNOW, not to watch his videos! :rolleyes:
     
  11. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    [​IMG]
     
    goat roper, Stickman, Rave and 10 others like this.
  12. Kmcdowell

    Kmcdowell G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    My mom used to tell me about the "honey dippers" which were a crew of people who would come through and for a nominal fee would go out and empty your outhouse of it's contents so you could "start over".
     
  13. Kmcdowell

    Kmcdowell G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    I flunked 9th grade algebra and they made me take again in 10th grade. They slid me through with a D and I never took another math class in my life.
     
    CountryBoy, Jaison and ncnascarlady like this.
  14. Lucky you! I had to pass a college level math class so I could keep working on my degree. I managed...even got a C...but it wasn't pretty.
     
    CountryBoy, neophyte and Jaison like this.
  15. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

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    Our college had a deal where if you flunked a class you could retake it and drop your lowest grade. I took pretty much every one of my college math classes twice. My college guidance councilor asked me why I didn't try again on those, because without those three grades I would have had one of the highest GPAs in the school. I told her that it wasn't worth the misery.
     
    neophyte and ncnascarlady like this.
  16. I could do the same thing, but figured I was pressing my luck with a C and didn't want to risk making it worse. Yeah, I know, I would have kept the highest grade, but then there was the thought of wasting money trying again.;)
     
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  17. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

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    Me too. It took me twice to get a C in three of my math classes. I managed a B on the second run of one of them, but largely because of the cute chick in class who sat next to me and offered to help me study.
    Now if I had had a cute tutor in all those classes it might have been worth another go.
     
    neophyte and ncnascarlady like this.
  18. gandog56

    gandog56 G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    Whaddayall talkin' about. That be some mighty fine white trailer trash mama. Gimme some o' dat!
     
  19. savage12755a

    savage12755a G&G Evangelist

    I trust you have a rather large supply of penicillin on hand.
     
  20. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    Pearly Gates

    The Pope dies, goes to the Pearly Gates.

    St. Peter welcomes him and asks if he has any requests.

    "I'd really like to really understand the writings of the prophets and apostles."
    the Pope says.

    "Sure thing, Angel Thaddeus here will escort you to the Pearly Library, where all the originals are there, translated so you can read them," Peter replied.

    Things go along well for a few days, then Angel Thaddeus approaches St. Peter and tells him, "We need you down at the Pearly Library. We seem to be having an issue with His Holiness."

    Pete goes down to the Library, and before he even gets there, he hears the Pope yelling, "There's an R! There's an R! All that time wasted for a stupid R!"

    St. Peter approaches His Holiness and asks him what the problem is.

    "There's an R!!"

    "Yes, and...?" Peter asked.

    "It says 'Celebrate!"
     
    rockman7, Bvhawk, goat roper and 2 others like this.