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I love my job

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 8, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Next time you have a bad day at work. . . think of this guy.

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
    performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he
    sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103. 2 FM in Ft Wayne IN, who
    was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

    "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
    had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
    so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
    so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
    bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
    the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This
    time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we
    have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20, 000 piece of
    equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful
    temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
    taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
    it several times with no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
    stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
    water.

    It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.

    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
    seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
    damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water
    machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I
    don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However,
    the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought
    was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed
    the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions
    were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all
    laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
    to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before
    I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
    arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
    climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his
    face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as
    I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2
    days because my rectum was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad
    day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
    shoved up your butt.

    Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.:nod:
     
  2. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Oh man, I hope he didn't eat a bunch of bean burritos the day before! Aye carumba!