If Bill Gates were a Redneck

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 20, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

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    If Bill Gates were a Redneck
    What would be different with Microsoft if Bill Gates were a Red Neck?

    1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
    2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
    3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a heftybag
    4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
    5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
    6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
    7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Feebird!
    8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart
    9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
    10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
    11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
    12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
    13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
    14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
    15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
    16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
    17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
    18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
    19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
    20. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard
    21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
    22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
    23. Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? It's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ride in the back?
    24. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad