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Just trying to keep my friends alive a little longer!

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Ten Man, Aug 12, 2017.

  1. Jaison

    Jaison Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eyes Forum Contributor

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    Yonder
    image.jpeg Just for you, Spooker.
     
  2. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    I am thinking that if the old Missouri Mule still is sick.
    Even after all the beautiful pictures that have been posted.
    Just maybe, these four beautiful ladies will cheer him up! :D

    [​IMG]
     
    CountryBoy likes this.

  3. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    That is a slap in the face of my kind......YOU RACIST TRASH PANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    CountryBoy and Jaison like this.
  4. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    Oooooooh Griz! You knoooooooow what I liiiiiiiike!
     
    Mindy up North, grizcty and neophyte like this.
  5. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

  6. chesterwin

    chesterwin G&G Evangelist

    Time for a commercial break.....


     
    Merle, neophyte, grizcty and 2 others like this.
  7. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Dang, they never show those ads here......
     
    blaster and neophyte like this.
  8. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    Oh great. Now mushrooms are turning me on.
     
    neophyte and goat roper like this.
  9. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

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    How many stars do you suppose there are?
     
  10. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    ^^^^If you need a counter, I'll volunteer.
     
    neophyte likes this.
  11. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

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    I had a friend with whom I grew up, named Lisa. Lisa hit puberty hard and early around Christmas break in 4th grade, and by 6th grade she was built like a Playboy bunny who had spent a fortune on augmentation.

    By our Freshman year of high school she was scheduled to get a reduction surgery to take her DOWN to a DD because she had shot through F and was working her way to GG. Her genes had gone wacky and her breasts wouldn't stop growing.

    She got the surgery. A couple of years passed and they started growing again, but much slower. Eventually she started having a lot of pain and finally went to the doctor. This time rather than healthy tissue, they found two massive tumors. Worse, the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and her spine.

    She spent our Junior year in a hospital and she died of cancer just before her 18th birthday.

    I wonder if your friend had some sort of similar, but slower-brewing, issue.
     
    Cyrano likes this.
  12. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

  13. Don't growl at me gentlemen, this one's for the ladies of the forum.

    Eve’s Side of the Story

    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.
    'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.
    It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'
    And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
    'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
    And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes
    Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
    'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'
    'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
    God though for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see...where did I put that useless boob?'

    Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

     
    grizcty, Coach, Wicked109 and 4 others like this.
  14. animalspooker

    animalspooker G&G Evangelist

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    Who else knows what they want for Christmas?

    [​IMG]
     
    Merle, grizcty, blaster and 1 other person like this.
  15. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    I think the Democrat men were made from a different female part, lower on the anatomy.
     
    Cyrano, Merle, goat roper and 5 others like this.
  16. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

  17. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Unless you are a Minnesota Senator....... o_O