Leno It was so hot today I was sweating like Martha Stewart watching CEOs get arrested! Zacarias Moussaoui, the "alleged" hijacker â€“ he's guilty, he said he did it! Anyway, his guilty plea was once again turned down by the judge! What is this now, "Jeopardy"? Shoot the guy and get it over. By a vote of 401 to 1, James Traficant was expelled from Congress for bribery, extortion and racketeering â€“ or, as they call it in Congress, the Triple Crown! The vote for Traficant â€“ Gary Condit! I guess that goes to prove it: There really is honor among thieves. Aren't you glad these guys got a pay raise again? The first 290 votes were against him. When he finally got that one vote, do you think Traficant thought, "Yes! The tide is going to turn!" I guess with his record and that hair, Traficant could be a televangelist. He says he will run yet again, even in prison, and he can do that. Just look who all will be around him: financial advisers, legal advisers, executives and politicians â€“ it's perfect! It's being reported that President Clinton is seeing a counselor. He's also seeing a waitress, a dancer and two flight attendants. The government is going to start storing radioactive waste in Yucca Mountain, just north of Las Vegas. Do you know what this means? Siegfried and Roy could end up looking even stranger than they do now! Al Sharpton is suing HBO for $1 billion! HBO showed a video of Sharpton in a cocaine exchange. Cocaine! I think Sharpton is on acid! One billion dollars! I got a tip from my stock adviser today â€“ he said for 39 cents I could get my fries super-sized. Pringles is coming out with a new wide-mouth can because many Americans were complaining that they couldn't get their hands into the can. People's hands are too fat to fit inside the can. Pringles is also changing its slogan â€“ it's now "From Our Wide Can to Your Wide Can"! A man in New York City is suing six fast-food restaurants because he is obese. Sounds like the same guy that came up with the idea of the Pringles wide can.