I admit the last ones were lame, these may be better; I'm only 1/2 on the wagon, I gave up the chasers I took the pledge 2 years ago, and my breath still smells like whiskey A bum asked me for a dollar. I asked him if he would use it on drinking. He said no. I asked if he would use it to gamble, again he said. I brought him home with me to show my wife what happens to guys who don't drink, or gamble. My friends all call me cucumber. I always want to get pickled. During prohibition they only sold whiskey for snakebites. My family fortune was made by dad selling snakes. I left a bottle of scotch on the bus, called lost and found to see if it got turned. No they told me, but someone turned in the fella that found it.