Glad you liked the first ones Dale, I got a few more. A young Private requests a leave. When asked why he needs one, he says his wife is going to have a baby. "Well good for you, when is the baby due?" He's asked. "I am hoping for about 9 months after my leave sir" I was riding in a cab with quite an elderly driver, and Winnipegs streets were as icy as I have ever seen them. As the cab spun and swerved, I braced myself and looked a mite scared. "You ain't got no reason to worry son, I spent 18 months in a hospital over seas during the war, and I'm not going back to one now" he said. I hope you weren't wounded too badly I said. "Nope" he replied, "it was a mental hospital" A young ensign was very insistent he be given leave as his wife was about to give birth. The CO's response, "Listen you are only necessary at the laying of the keel, for the launching, you are entirely superflous." Asore-keeper tired of his job and decided on being a policeman.Several months later a friend asked how he liked his new job. " Well the hours are lousy and the pay ain't so great but the thing I like best is now the customer is always WRONG!" Two men worked side by side in the War Production Board, but rarely spoke. One man was always done and had his desk cleared promptly @ 4:30. The other often had work to do 'til 6:00 or later. One day the hard worker asked the other fella how he managed to clean up his work so quickly. He said"whenever I come across a tough piece detail, and when papers come late I just mark it ""refer to Commander Smith"", I figure in an outfit this large, there have to be one, I must be right as none of the papers ever come back to me." The hard worker replied "brother prepare for action, 'cuz I am Commander Smith!" Aavishing young lady in a too short mini-skirt noticed a learing man following her. She tried crossing the street, and turning a few corners, yet he still continued. Happening across beat cop she said "officer, that man is following me" The cop looked @ the man then gazed upon the pretty lady and said, "Madam if I were not on duty I would follow you too." All for now hope ya get a chuckle.