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Need some fresh jokes

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Apr 21, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Hey Doglips and others...how about some fresh jokes. It's get'in kind of slow here. I need something to get me smiling again.

    Guess I'm still fuming over losing a couple posts on the 19th. it's probably a computer glitch but it makes a person really question what's going on when they disappear, especially after showing up two or three times.

    Oxford:fuss: :confused:
     
  2. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    Will work on it...boss has me working 60-70 hours this week...and the Gun store needs my OT $$...The scary part is Im out their guarding rockets at the cape....actualy Im guarding my lunch box from the racoons....
     

  3. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Coon Hunting in Kansas

    Doglips: Now the subject of racoons can really make a person laugh. You may have read my post earlier last week regarding "catching a wild animal dead or alive" on the "gun room" forum. That d*@# coon really had me buffaloed for a while.

    Where I grew up in southeastern Kansas lots of guys coon hunted and I used to listen to their stories as a teenager. Don't know if you're familiar with coon hunting but I'll describe what a coon hunter told me.

    About midnight or later take a good trailing dog, or dogs, down to the creek and turn them loose. They'll run off from you once they get the scent but when they get too close to the coon the coon'll climb up a tree. You'll hear your dogs barking and baying for quite a long distance so when you finally get there the coon is usually high up on a tree limb. His eyes will shine back at you when you point a hi-powered light up there. Then, the coon hunter usually shoots the coon out of the tree, skins it and finally puts the hide on a stretcher which is sold. This is done in the winter time when the fur is thick and tight. Some of those guys even ate coon meat. Sounded kind of gross to me but they did it regularly.

    If the coon was chased on the ground and headed for water than that's a whole different game. Sometimes the hunter had a "kill dog" which was a smaller much quicker dog, almost the size of a terrier, which usually could dodge the claws of the coon in the water but had quick reflexes and strong jaws. If the dog was unlucky the coon would drown the dog.

    Some of these coon hunters went out almost every night of the week, according to their tales. As I remember, you didn't want to get too close to avid coon hunters, though, because of smell which reeked from their clothes. Most were dedicated to their sport.

    Oxford:assult:
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2002
  4. Oxford, my dad was a coon hunting fanatic. He went 7 nights a week if the weather permitted. He would wait untill past midnight on Sundays, so he would be legal,{ as it is illegal to hunt on Sundays here in North Carolina.} I don't know how he had the energy to do this, as he worked a full 8 hours on consruction crew, and also farmed 8 acres of tobacco. This was back in the 1960's when 8 acres was a lot to farm. He done his farming with a mule. But as far as coon hunting, he truly loved it. He had 2 dogs back then that were so good that men from South Carolina, Virginia, would come up on the weekends sometime just to go hunting with him. He never had registered dogs. They were allways mixed hound breeds, such as Treeing Walkers, Blueticks, Black and Tans, Redbones, and Mountain Triggs, allways cross-breeded. He would take a .22 rifle, and a axe. He never shot the coon after the dogs treed it if he could climb the tree to knock it out, or if the coon was inside the tree he would cut it down. I've seen him cut down some huge trees. They were hollow and the coons would use them to den in. It is mountainous country here where we live in N.C., very rough walking, and for the life of me I don't know how he had the stamina to work and hunt the way he did. When I started deer hunting it was after he had gotten to where his health did not allow him to hunt anymore. I had been out deer hunting all day on a day that it was a steady rain, and had went to his house to eat Thanksgiving supper. I was standing in front of his stove drying out, and he said, "anybody that goes out in this to deer hunt has got to be crazy", I told him," ain't no crazier than going coon hunting 7 nights a week is it Pa?", He just laughed a little, and did'nt say nothing else. He was a heck of a man, and loved to hunt coon and squriells.
     
  5. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    The company I work for just got a big contract at the cape...guardign a new rocket (I do the spell checking) so we have everyone..office people ect helping to cover the post....I go out their for the weekend shift and no one told me about the racoons...Im sitting reading a book and I guess it was snack time cause one climbs my leg and stands up on my lap... A few hours latter I watched (Guards Observe and report) them draging the other guards cooler (one of those play pal coolers that hold a 6 pack of soda) with his lunch half way accross the room...these things are a trip.
    One last Racoon story...about a year ago I left social work and went back to security..long story.. My first post was a cematary....well around 3am Im leaning aginst my car smokeing and behind me I hear theses soft foot steps on the dry leaves...every horror movie I ever seen flashed before my eyes...Well I turn around an a group of racoons who had been feed everynight by the regular gaurd were just comeing up for their snack.
     
  6. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    You're right Hooker about cutting down the tree.

    You're right Hooker about having to cut down the trees. I'd forgotten about that part of the stories I had been told. Guess it's no wonder. I suppose it was around 1949-55 when I was talking about.

    The coon would dig a nest out where a large rotten limb was on the tree trunk. They thought they were safe there till the dogs got on their trail.

    Have you got any idea what their furs sold for?

    And for your comments, Doglips, that had to be pretty funny having the coon crawl up on your lap to get food and seeing those coon eyes in the cemetary.

    Isn't it interesting how unafraid they get after being around people a while. Even at that they're still wild animals and can do lots of damage to you if provoked.

    Oxford :nod: :D
     
  7. Klaus

    Klaus G&G Newbie

    Yup, racoons are very strong and can fight if they are mad. They are basically a mix of cat, monkey, and bear. (not in the genetic sense of course, but in temperment and ability). Personally, I like them, as well as most wild critters, but then I do not raise chickens or anything.
     
  8. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    I've always kind of liked the 'coons, too. Since I don't raise animals the only trouble they cause me is getting into the trash cans. That's easy enough to fix. Sometimes, I pop the 'coon with a paintball, since I don't want to really hurt him. ('possums are another story - I hate the critters).
    Young 'coons are really funny, like a kitten with hands.

    Years ago, I worked security at the airport. One of our guys also worked another contract at the local dam on Lake Talquin. He was doing a walk around the grounds, and shone his flashlight out over the lakeshore. He says he saw "thousands" of red eyes staring back at him! The gators were laying on the shore. Lot's of gators. He was much more careful after that when outside.
     
  9. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    After I got the racoon out of my chimney flue the first thing I did was install flue caps. Lots of people don't realize how well coons climb up brick walls or downspouts of your house. To crawl downward inside a chimney flue is no challange for them either.

    When I found him asleep inside the live animal trap on top of my dormer he woke up and was about as mad as I've ever seen a wild animal. He'd pulled a rope attached to the cage back inside and chewed it up. Then he used his paw to almost tear a hole through my dormer roofing. Probably the worst thing was how bad he stunk. A skunk couldn't have been much worse.

    I attached another rope to the cage and lowered him to the ground before calling our city animal control officer. He probably got relocated too close to my home and came back again but I was ready because of the new flue caps. He probably found another house without a flue cap and is sleeping there now.

    Oxford:D
     
  10. Fellows, one time while I was hunting with my cousin, the dogs treed a coon up a little oak sapling. I climbed up it and had a stick with me to see if I could punch him out. Well the higher I climbed, the higher the coon climbed. Both of us got up there in the tree;s skinny part, and Mr. Coon could'nt go no higher, and I sure could'nt either. That tree was swaying back and forth due mostly to my weight. Well I took the stick and jabbed at him some, and he got mad, but rather than jumping out of the tree away from me, he just came right down the tree at me, growling all the time. They would'nt nothing that I could do, but out my head against the tree and hold on with one arm, and cover the back of my head with the other. That coon went right over my head and down my back to my waist before he jumped out. I was kinda concerned, because I thought he was going to get on me and whoop me. He jumped off, and the dogs run him on up the mountain, and treed him in a den tree. We let him go. It took my cousin about 10 minutes to get to where he could walk, because he just about feel out on the ground laughing at me.
     
  11. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Hooker: That's the funniest thing I've heard today.

    Bet you were getting kinda nervous when he headed down the tree toward you and thinking "now what in the h@#$ am I doing up here"?

    It's a wonder he didn't take a swipe at your face or body in his anger. Those claws can do real damages.

    Oxford:nod:
     
  12. toolman

    toolman Resident Sasquatch Forum Contributor

    that's hilarious! one of my friends in high school had a pet racoon (you'll get a kick out of this oxford), named "stinky" and he got the bright idea to take him to our annual rabies vaccination held in the ag barn at school.he realized his mistake as soon as he walked into a room full of dogs carrying a very nervous 15+ lb racoon.ole stinky just about shredded him trying to get away(which he did), then found an opening between the inner and outer walls of the building where he holed up for the better part of three days before we could entice him out.he eventually turned wild,inflicting even more damage to my friend, before he got smart and turned him loose.i decide i didn't want a racoon after that!