New Medications

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 17, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    S t . M o m's W o r t
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
    unconscious for up to six hours.

    E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
    Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
    memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
    they moved out.

    P e p t o b i m b o
    Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
    evening out increases breast size and decreases intelligence.

    D u m e r o l
    When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing
    enjoyment of abnormal sex and country western music.

    F l i p i t o r
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
    urge to flip off other drivers.

    A n t i b o y o t i c s
    When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving
    grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

    M e n i c i l l i n
    Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,
    "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

    B u y a g r a
    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
    duration of spending spree.

    Extra Strength Buy-One-all
    When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
    severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by
    Dr. Laura.

    J a c k A s s p i r i n
    Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
    anniversary or phone number.

    A n t i - t a l k s i d e n t
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
    share their life stories with total atrangers.

    S e x c e d r i n
    More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
    headache," syndrome.

    R a g a m e t
    When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on
    him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

  2. Klaus

    Klaus Guest

    Where can I order Peptobimbo, Dumerol, and Sexcedrin?