Nymphomaniac Convention

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by dogzebra, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. dogzebra

    dogzebra G&G Evangelist

    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

    He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat

    As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

    Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,

    " Business trip or pleasure?"

    She turned, smiled and said, "" Business.

    I'm going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America Convention in Boston ."

    He swallowed hard.

    Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a
    meeting of nymphomaniacs.

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

    " Lecturer," she responded.

    " I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

    " Really?" he said.

    And what kind of myths are there?"

    " Well," she explained, " One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

    Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

    I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. " I'm sorry," she said, " I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name..."

    " Tonto," the man said,

    " Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
    cjleete, rondog, OldMike1030 and 18 others like this.
  2. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    I can relate to that name.
    " Tonto Griz, but my friends call me Bubba.":whistle:
    jwrauch, CountryBoy and dogzebra like this.

  3. 870shooter1

    870shooter1 G&G Evangelist

  4. You guys should get out more! You are getting your nationalities mixed up:(
    870shooter1 likes this.
  5. 870shooter1

    870shooter1 G&G Evangelist

    Its apparent they get out quite often! They take these little mental breaks from reality! Sometimes they can be gone for hours!

    Dressround likes this.
  6. Mindy up North

    Mindy up North G&G Evangelist

    :whistle:Wow...you guys are SOOOOOOO weak once you get the thought of sex in your head! LOL!
    cjleete, Dressround, jwrauch and 2 others like this.
  7. blaster

    blaster G&G Evangelist

    thats what makes us men!
  8. Mindy up North

    Mindy up North G&G Evangelist

    How true, how true! Its just like yelling "Squirrel!" to a dog! LOL!

    And just so you guys know...not every woman wants a "Tonto" --- although the Goldstein/Bubba combo works!:nana:
    BigEd63, jwrauch, blaster and 2 others like this.
  9. jwrauch

    jwrauch G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    I love it !! Hadn't heard that one for a while !! JR
  10. Dinna fash yersel lassie They are mostly all huff and puff.
    Its like a dog chasing a bus...he wouldn't know what to do if he caught it.

    Now I am being a traitor to the Clan:spam:
    grizcty, winston64, GSFixit and 2 others like this.
  11. GSFixit

    GSFixit Curmudgeon In Training

    HEY! I resemble that remark....
  12. winston64

    winston64 G&G Evangelist

    But ya can bet your last dollar, they will let every other dog in the world know, " they caught it"!!!
  13. I tips my hat to you sir.
    That Quote will take some beating:whistle:
  14. This old dog was loading his plate at the smorgas board in the RSL club and
    collided with a lady, I apologised and a few minutes later I collided with her again:oops:

    To make light of it I said "Ma,am if you want my name and phone number just ask"
    I received a whack. I guess I am losing my touch. Mary laughed out loud.
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014
    Mindy up North and GSFixit like this.
  15. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    Mindy, you know what Jeff Foxworthy says. He has a whole routine built around what is going on inside men's heads, at the back of their minds at all times even if not necessarily in the foreground:

    "I wanna beer and I wanna see something nekkid!"
    GSFixit, jwrauch, blaster and 3 others like this.
  16. cjleete

    cjleete G&G Evangelist

    Born with two heads and only enough circulation to operate one at a time.
  17. 870shooter1

    870shooter1 G&G Evangelist

    Let's face facts, if we had enough blood to operate both simultaneously, the human race would die out in 2 generations! Lol!
    cjleete likes this.
  18. No such luck, matey:argue:
    870shooter1 likes this.