One day, in line at the company cafeteria

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jul 24, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It only takes 10 seconds and costs $10."

    So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the store. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. It will improve in about 2 weeks.

    That night while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in the concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer ejects a printout:
    1.Your tap water is too hard. Get a softener.
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They're not yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.:p