One day, in line at the company cafeteria

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jul 24, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

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    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It only takes 10 seconds and costs $10."

    So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the store. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. It will improve in about 2 weeks.

    That night while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in the concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer ejects a printout:
    1.Your tap water is too hard. Get a softener.
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They're not yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.:p