People You Will Meet At The Gun Show

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 23, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest


    RAMBO: He's looking for an Ingram MAC-10, and wants to have it custom chambered in .44 Magnum as a back-up gun. For primary carry he wants a Desert Eagle, provided he can get it custom chambered in .50 BMG. He derides the .50 Action Express as a wimp round designed for ladies' pocket pistols. He has already bought three years' worth of freeze- dried MRE's from MARK, as well as seven knives. He is dressed in camoflage BDU's and a black T-shirt with the 101st AirBorne Division insignia, though he has never been in the Army. He works as a bag boy at Kroger's.

    BUBBA: He needs some money, and has reluctantly decided to sell his Daddy's .30-30, a Marlin 336 made in 1961. He indignantly refuses all cash offers below his asking price of $475. Unable to sell it, eventually he trades it plus another $175 for a new-in-box H&R Topper in .219 Zipper. He feels pretty good about the deal.

    GORDON: He is walking the aisles with a Remington Model 700 ADL in .30-06 on his shoulder. He's put an Uncle Mike's cordura sling and a Tasco 3x9 variable scope on it. A small stick protrudes from the barrel, bearing the words, "LIKE NEW ONLY THREE BOXES SHELLS FIRED $800." This is his third trip to a show with this particular rifle, which he has never actually used, since he lives in a shotgun-only area for deer.

    DAWN: She is here with her boyfriend, DARRYL. At the last show,
    DARRYL bought her a Taurus Model 66 in .357 Magnum. She fired it twice and is afraid of it, but she keeps it in a box on the top shelf of her clothes closet in case someone breaks in. She is dressed in a pair of blue jeans that came out of a spray can, a "Soldier of Fortune" T-shirt two sizes too small, and 4" high heels. DARRYL is ignoring her, but nobody else is.

    DARRYL: He has been engaged to DAWN for three years. He likes
    shotguns for defense, and he's frustrated that he can't get a Street Sweeper, so he's bought a Mossberg 500 with the 18-1/2" barrel, a perforated handguard, and a pistol grip. He plans to use it for squirrel hunting when he isn't sleeping with it. He plans to marry DAWN as soon as he gets a job which pays him enough to take over the payments on her mobile home.

    ARNOLD: He is a car salesman in Charlottesville, Virginia. He has a passion for Civil War guns, especially cap-and-ball revolvers. He has a reproduction Remington 1858, and is looking for a real one he can afford. He owns two other guns: a S&W Model 60 and a Sauer & Sohn drilling his father brought home from the war in 1945. He has no idea what caliber the rifle barrel on his drilling is, and he last fired the Model 60 five years ago.

    DICK: He is a gun dealer who makes his overhead selling Jennings J- 25's, Lorcin .380's, and H&R top-break revolvers. He buys the J-25's in lots of 1000 direct from the factory at $28.75 each, and sells them for $68.00 to gun show customers. He buys the H&R's for $10 at estate auctions and asks $85 for them, letting you talk him down to $78 when he is feeling generous. His records are meticulously kept, and he insists on proper ID and a signature on the 4473. He doesn't care whether the ID and the signature are yours, however. Other than his stock, he owns no guns and he has no interest in them.

    ARLENE: She is DICK's wife. She hates guns and gun shows more than anything in the world. Her husband insists that she accompany him to keep an eye on the table when he's dickering or has to go to the men's room. She refuses to come unless she can bring her SONY portable TV, even though she gets lousy reception in the Civic Center and there isn't any cable. When DICK is away from the table, she has no authority to negotiate, and demands full asking price for everything. She doesn't know the difference between a rifle and a shotgun, and she doesn't care, either.

    MARK: He doesn't have an FFL. He buys a table at the show to sell nylon holsters, magazines, T-shirts, bumber stickers, fake Nazi regalia, surplus web gear, MRE's and accessories. He makes more money than anyone else in the hall.

    ALAN: He's not a dealer, but he had a bunch of odds and ends to
    dispose of, so he bought a table. On it he displays used loading dies in 7.65 Belgian and .25-20, both in boxes from the original Herter's company. He also has a half-box of .38-55 cartrdiges, a Western-style gun belt he hasn't been able to wear since 1978, a used cleaning kit, and a nickel-plated Iver Johnson Premier revolver in .32 S&W. He's asking $125 for the gun and $40 for each of the die sets. He paid $35 for the table and figures he needs to get at least that much to cover his expenses and the value of his time.

    GERALD: He's a physician specializing in diseases of the rich. He
    collects Brownings, and specializes in High-Power pistols, Superposed shotguns, and Model 1900's. He has 98% of the known variations of each of these, and now plans to branch out into the 1906 and 1910 pocket pistols. He owns no handguns made after the Germans left Liege in 1944. He regards Japanese-made "Brownings" as a personal insult and is a little contempuous of Inglis-made High-Powers. He does not
    hunt or shoot. He buys all his gun accessories from Orvis and Dunn's.

    KEVIN: He is 13, and this is his first gun show. His eyes are bugged out with amazement, and he wonders what his J.C. Higgins single-shot 20-gauge is worth. His father gives him an advance on his allowance so he can buy a used Remington Nylon 66. He's hooked for life and will end up on the NRA's Board of Directors.


    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Next time you see Dawn, give her my e-mail!:p :D

  3. Eric

    Eric Guest

    Another one printed! I'm posting these at my table at the next show. OUTSTANDING!
  4. Rock

    Rock Guest

    Sometimes Dawn and her friends are the best part of the show...
  5. TominBossier

    TominBossier Guest


    I love this post, I saw it a couple of years ago and printed it out, just to loose it promptly. I've been waiting to get the chance to get another copy. This is one of the most truthful posts I've ever seen. I think we all know these people.
  6. NRA--don't forget the paint remover. Doglips you could have spelled my name different.
  7. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    I just cut and past..dont type it...just past it Alen...:)
  8. Klaus

    Klaus Guest

    Personally, I think .50 BMG may be a little big for carry. Maybe I can give Dawn some .38 spl HydraShoks and take her to the range.
  9. MarkII 22

    MarkII 22 Guest

    13 and at his first gun show sad I was going when I was about 7 or 8
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2002
  10. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Dawn already has a pair of ".38's" on her Klaus! :kinky:
  11. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Doglips, sounds like you've been to the Tallahassee gunshows! I've seen these people each time I've attended.
  12. oneastrix

    oneastrix G&G Newbie

    Take away the mobile home, and my wife becomes Dawn. it's funny how all the gun shows are the same. We have one come thru San Antone once a month. My wife who is 26y/o, blonde, 5'5" in and wieghs in at about 120lbs loves to go with me. Not only do I have to go thru her to get the money, but she get's better deals on things than I do. I'll go in and scope out my next toy, get a price on it, then she goes in and gets it for about $75 cheaper! Then the dealer who wanted to rip me off see's us walking around the show together at a later point in time. Oh well, he fell for the flirting.

    She carries a Glock 26 though, not a wheel gun. She thinks the recoil on a snubby is to much.

    I truely got lucky with this one!
  13. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Yeah, the good looking girls get the best deals. We have an annual Technology Conference here, and we all like to go scope out the vendors and do some "bauble hunting" - the freebies and give-aways. The ladies get some major baubles - t-shirts, electronic gadgets, etc. We guys are lucky to get a free pen or other little crap. Let the little woman try some dealing. That $75 she saves you could buy a case of ammo!
  14. oneastrix

    oneastrix G&G Newbie

    I'm lucky in the sense that my wife loves the gun shows! She like to go to the range with me and the guys, even if she chooses not to shoot. Just an all around cool chick!