Russian President Putin called President George W.Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control......this is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms, ASAP, to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes,?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10 inches long and 4 inches in diameter?" asked Putin. "No problem," replied the President. With that, George W. hung up the phone and then called the President of the Acme Condom Company. "I need a favor. You've got to send 1,000,000 condoms over to Russia right away." "Consider it done," said the CEO of Acme. "Great! Now listen. They have to be red in color, 10 inches long, and 4 inches in diameter." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said Bush. "On each one print the words 'MADE IN TEXAS, SIZE: SMALL' "