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Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50?
(A) Nudity.
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Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
(A) 45 lbs.
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Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
(A) 45 minutes.
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Q) How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
(A) None, they just sit there in the dark and *****.
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Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
(A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike?
(A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are
disabled.
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Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
(A) They can't stand criticism.
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Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring
and good looking?
(A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
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Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
(A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
(A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
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Q) Why does the bride always wear white?
(A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.
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Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
(A) Ask your Mom.
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Q) What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
(A) Say, "Nice Dick."
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Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
(A) Because they have cotton balls.
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Q) What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
(A) A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
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Q) What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
(A) Beer Nuts are under $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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Q) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
(A) Mace will do that to you.
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Q) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
(A) Everyone has the same DNA.
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Q) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
(A) Breasts don't have eyes.
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Q) What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage, along with a recipe.
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Q) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
(A) Row, row, row your boat.
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Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?
(A) A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time. A Southern fairytale
begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****.
:nod:
 
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