Reaction to snakes through the eyes of the Military...

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by LeftHandShooter, May 3, 2008.

  1. • Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.
    • Paratrooper:Lands on and kills the snake.
    • Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
    • Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."
    • Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."
    • Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
    • 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
    • MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.
    • JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.
    • Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.
    • Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.
    • Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
    • Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
    • Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.
    • Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.
    • AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.
    • AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
    • Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.
  2. Well being a civilian, I can't say I'd run away, or run away screaming. But I'd jump, as I hate them to death, and I can say after my initial reaction, the snake would be quite dead. lol Have I said I really, really hate them? lol

    Anyhow, I went to a party many many years ago with a friend whose brother was there and my friend hadn't told me his brother had recently acquired a snake. I guess since they new I hated them, they thought seeing me react would be somewhat funny. Yea, I guess it was until I in about 2 seconds whipped out my blade and was ready to cut its' head off. He must have seen the look on my face and realized rather quickly I was serious and was about to be out $250 bucks. lmao. Guess I got the last laugh didn't I? lol

    Have I mentioned I REALLY, REALLY HATE SNAKES YET???

  3. i would eat him. mmmmmmmmmm... snake ka-bobs
  4. bigbuddy21

    bigbuddy21 G&G Evangelist

    :popworm:hey GLOCKMESTER, here yu go
  5. lol That aint no snake, bb21, that just a lil' ole worm. lmfao
  6. ghost_raven

    ghost_raven G&G Evangelist

    Well, being who I am, I'd probably try to catch it and keep it as a pet.
  7. sell33

    sell33 G&G Enthusiast

    Lol thats hilarious GM....I don't mind snakes at all, actually i want to get one:D lol
  8. last time I saw a snake I pointed it out to a neighbors cat who continued to chase and kill it. LOL in washington I dont think we have any snakes beyond garden snakes which are harmless and are a favorite prey for a super chubby house cat. I could be wrong about the snake thing but I havent ever heard of a dangerous snake in this state.
  9. oldjarhead

    oldjarhead G&G Evangelist

    Snake ka-bobs...hmmmm
    Tastes sorta like...snake!
  10. ghost_raven

    ghost_raven G&G Evangelist

    I've got two snakes: a tangerine honduran milksnake, and a yellow rat snake. The rat snake laid down the ground rules with my fiance's siamese cat real quick.
  11. Years ago coming home from Church I hit a 5' black snake sunning in the road. We stopped and my brother threw it in the truck. Got home, gutted and skinned it then into the oven with veggies and Golden Mushroom soup. A little greasy but very good - esp. if you like ribs!
    He still has the skin (he's a biology teacher now!)
  12. billy

    billy G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    the ranger one sounds like a real response!
  13. Rattlesnakes are good, but not the least bit greasy. Matter of fact, a little butter or other baste does wonders for them; keeps them from getting dry and tough.
  14. I've heard that. My brother caught one on vacation a few yrs back but his wife made him turn it loose rather than eat or keep it.
  15. Likeum some snakes.... Python, Diamondback, Cobra. No likeum bigfat Anaconda so much. Likeum Viper in safe but not at shootin' range. Likeum King Cobra too.
  16. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Non-venomous snakes - hey, I say 'live and let live"!

    Venemous - if he leaves like "right now!" he can live - if he gets chummy, he dies. :scool:

    Pythons - KEWL!! I hope to get one someday. I hear South Florida is fair crawling with them. :)

    US Navy Frigate - the crew makes him the ship's mascot, and he resides in the Goat Locker. He develops an ill-fated affection for the nearby fire station hose ...
  17. bigV

    bigV G&G Regular

    hilarious, I own two snakes myself and can be quite delicious. Although you forgot the Legionnaire response: "Act indifferent while smoking cigarette."
  18. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    Wel, we can tell whoever wrote that was parachute-qualified. The only positive responses are from combat arms that involve jumping out of perfectly functional airplanes.

    And I'll add the following:

    Merchant Mariner: captures the snake and puts it to work eating rats in Number 3 Hold. Ship's rat population shows significant decline. Most junior ordinary seaman aboard given collateral duty of locating and confining snake before cargo is worked in Number 3 Hold at every port.
  19. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    US Navy cruiser:
    Gunnery Master Chief has bright idea! Finding that snake is a large python, he has his Gunners Mates fit the snake with a multi-ruffled 'skirt', and lures it through the eight inch gun barrels with a bilge rat on a string.

    Thus inventing the world's first Bore Snake.... :09:

    Chief Charely, the Supply/Mess Chief, is incensed though - there goes saturday's dinner for the wardroom. :sad2: