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Any resemblance to any of the addressees is purely accidental!

You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If:
* Your stall warning plays Dixie.
* Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
* You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
* You've thought of using moonshine as AV gas.
* You have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
* Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
* Your fishing lures keep sticking your fingers while stored in your pocket.
* You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer.
* You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman "Yankee".
* You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
* The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
* You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
* You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
* You refer to flying in formation as "We've got us a convoy".
* Your matched set of luggage is 3 grocery sacks from Piggly Wiggly.
* You have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
* You fuel your airplane from a mason jar.
* You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window.
* You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
* Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass and wheat from the
landing gear.
* You figure the weight of mud and manure on your airplane into the CG
* You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane.
* You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been
flying for years.
* You've ground looped a Cub after hitting a cow.
* You consider anything above 100 feet AGL as "High Altitude".
* There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere".
* You've never really actually seen a sectional, but have all the Texaco
road maps for your area (but they're 20 years old).
* You answer all calls from female controllers with "That's a big ten-four
little Darlin'."
* There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco
stains on the left.
* You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep and goats.
* You use your parachute to cover your plane.
* You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee.
* You fly to family reunions to meet girls.
* You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest.
* The tread pattern on your main gear tires doesn't match. Or, there is no
tread pattern on your main gear tires.
* Your best com radio has 90 channels.
* You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
* You have a bale of hay and a hound in the baggage compartment.
* Your instructor's day job was at the community sale barn.
* You've got matching bumper stickers on your vertical fin.
* There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
* There is a brown-stained Styrofoam cup strategically stored in the
glove box.
* The FAA still thinks your mailing address is your parent's house.
* You think ZULU time means something to do with Africa.
* Your hangar collapses and more than four dogs are injured.
* Your airplane has a sticker that says, "I'd rather be fishing".
* You navigate with your ADF tuned to country music stations.
* You think "Ultralite" is a new beer from Budweiser.

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