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Rednecks and Hicks

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, May 25, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Ok...here's something to offend everyone. I've disconnected my phone line. Don't call.

    Oxford
    --------------------------

    Did you hear about the Kentucy red neck who passed away and left his
    entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

    The only catch is that she can't touch it until she's 14.

    ***
    How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?

    When you call the front desk an say, "I've got a leak in my sink," and
    the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."

    ***
    An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to
    the driver, "got any ID?"

    The driver says, "'Bout what?'

    ****

    Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
    sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?'
    "Jes' some chickens."

    If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Sheee-it, if ya guesses
    right, I' give you both of 'em!"

    Okay......Ummmmmmm ....five?"

    ****

    An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
    telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here muh house
    is on fahr!"

    "Okay," replied the fireman. "How do we get there?"

    "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

    *****

    Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

    Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

    ****

    Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
    Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this
    year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your
    suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii.
    I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant.

    Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got
    pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue
    didn't get pregnant again."

    Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

    Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."

    ****

    Ida Mae passed away and her son Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told
    Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?"
    asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The
    operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

    After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street
    and you pick her up there?"

    ****

    Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Alabama to 32? They
    wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

    ****

    What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?

    Documentaries.

    ****

    Where was the toothbrush invented?

    Kentucky. If it was invented anywhere else,it would have been called a teethbrush.

    *****

    Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Indiana State Lottery?

    The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

    ****

    A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple
    gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.

    ****

    What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in
    Florida have in common?

    Either way, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer

    ***
    :D
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2002
  2. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    YEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWW! YOU DONE DID IT NOW SON, I'M A GONNA SEE IF'N ONE OF MAH 12 CARS IN MAH YARD IS GONNA START AND COME OVER TO YORN HOUSE AND WHUP THE TARNATION OUTTA YA!