Relative Just Killed A Burglar

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Taurus Fan, Oct 11, 2010.

  1. This just happened last night.
    My daughter's brother-in-law woke up in the middle of the night from noise in the house, went out and found a large man in his living room. Burglar didn't stop on command, instead came at him and started using pepper spray, so my in-law emptied his 5 shot 38 into him, killing him. My initial reaction when I heard the news was "hey good for him awesome job." Then I heard about how he was handling it.

    Something we don't think of in discussions about use of lethal force is the emotional toll it takes, this poor guy is a wreck, feels awful, is on an emotional roller coaster of after shock/fear/anxiety/worry/2nd guessing about his justification, etc, not to mention the horror of having a body riddled with holes in your living room. He spent the next day drinking heavily and fretting over having killed a man. He's a mess, it'll be awhile before he gets over it.

    Just something to think about.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2010
  2. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    I will keep him in my prayers. He acted properly. He did what had to be done to protect his family. If some one is in your home they are usually not there to be "friendly".

  3. White Rook

    White Rook G&G Evangelist

    One less scumbag we don't have to waste our tax money trying him in court and feeding him in prison. Good upstanding citizens don't break into our homes. Good guys 1 Bad guys 0...
  4. jerry

    jerry Since 03-15- 2002 Forum Contributor

    He did the right thing. He may have some emotional issues that he may need to seek professional help with. He needs to know this does not make him week in any way. LE's have to deal with it as well as PTSD with the military. Best bet is he talks to a professional.
  5. Rambo

    Rambo G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    He is alive and that is the best conclusion to this situation. He will need plenty of support and validation for his actions as he will most likely start to question himself. Keep telling him that the best conclusion is that he is alive and not so much that the other guy is dead. Reinforce the positive.
  6. TheLastMountain

    TheLastMountain G&G Evangelist

    My prayers go out to him. Just reassure him that if he didn't do what he did, it would be him and his family at the morgue.
  7. Tha Dave

    Tha Dave G&G Evangelist

    Drinking isn't going to help (been there done that) take him to a place that he is comfertable and help him vent, the best thing for him to do is talk to a shrink and make sure that he knows that he has the support of those around him. Taking a life is never easy and something that he is going to have to deal with but drinking is not the way to deal with it. Remind him that he did the right thing but don't dwell on it, talk sports, cars, family, pets any thing that will get him mind off of what that SOB forced him to do. He will get over this but it will take time.
  8. oldjarhead

    oldjarhead G&G Evangelist

    My prayer is with him.
    The most important thing is that he did what he had to do to keep his wife (and kids) safe...they are alive because of his actions.
    I recommend he get into a victims support group, screw the psycho docs. Use the docs if the support group doesn't help.
    Shake his hand for me and tell him he did the right thing to protect his own.
  9. Archetype_wyo

    Archetype_wyo G&G Enthusiast

    Take him out to the gun range and then take a scenic drive and listen to some oldies like Boston, Kansas, Journey, Foreigner... Just like everyone else has said, reinforce the fact that he and his family YOUR RELATIVES, are all still alive because he took a stand. He took a stand and said NO, I will not stand by and let you be a criminal and possibly hurt my family. He did the right thing, he protected himself and his family again your relatives and that's all that can be said. We should all be able to stand up and say "no sir, you will not." It may wreak havoc on our emotions for a while but in the end, he did the right thing and if it hadn't have been his house it might have been someone else's and there might be a good guy/family that had left us.

  10. Tracer

    Tracer G&G Aussie Dad

    If it didn't bother him something would be wrong.People in your house ain't there to visit
  11. PAPA G

    PAPA G G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    an emotional wreck, but an alive emotional wreck.
  12. It was justifiable homicide from an intruder with a weapon. Time will heal him. Take him fishing.
    Don't take mace to a gunfight either. Thank him for keeping that perp from costing us money.
  13. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    What jerry said. Be sure he gets some help from a pro. Maybe your local police department or the state police can recommend someone that they use when one of their LEOs has to kill somebody?
  14. Kaybe

    Kaybe G&G Evangelist

    One of the best things you can do is to tell him that you are glad that he is ok and the family is ok. Don't tell him, Great kill! or One less scumbag! or anything like that. Be there to listen to him if he wants to talk about it. Let him know that he did ok. This is not something that he wanted to do, but had to do. Be there for him during the trial, legal stuff and even later. You do not do something like this and just walk away NOT changed. Traumatic events like this change people. The better support that he has at home and with family, the better chances he has of NOT being a psychological casualty. There is NO weakness in getting some counseling or professional help. None whatsoever. He took care of himself and his family, now someone needs to step up and help take care of him. Ret. Lt Col Dave Grossman has a great book called, "On Combat". It covers so much stuff, what to do after, feelings that people get and so on. Get this book and read it. You will be so much better prepared in helping him deal with this.
  15. BunnyWabbit

    BunnyWabbit G&G Evangelist

    Wow, seems he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. It's really too bad that in addition to wanting to steal from you or hurt or kill you, that person also makes you question your own actions and the rightness or wrongness of them all in the name of defending yourself in your own home. When that person came into his home uninvited, he made his choices too.

    I don't ever want to have to use my gun(s) in self defense, but I would way rather deal with the aftermath of it and still be alive than to not use them when I needed them the most.
  16. Ten Man

    Ten Man G&G Evangelist

    Most of the emotion that a person feels after such an event is the result of the massive adrenaline dump into the body that occurs as a result of the "fight or flight" reaction. The body gets instantly mobilized with an overwhelming surge of power boosting hormone, then the action is over before the adrenaline is totally used up. The anger experienced, by the individual that has to shoot, is a result of the intruder's actions. The anger gets the individual to take action, but then the action is over before the anger is totally dispersed. The anger then has to be repressed in order to "come back" to the reality of a non-threatening situation. The repression of the anger becomes guilt, due to our "social training."

    The best thing on the market for mopping up the excess adrenanline in the system is psyllium husks. It can be purchased, in powdered form, at any drug store/pharmacy. The psyllium will absorb the arenaline, and it's residues, from the blood stream in the small intestine.

    All the other advice is good. Just add the psyllium to help overcome the physiological restimulation of the incident.

    He did good!
  17. flyingbrkracing

    flyingbrkracing G&G Enthusiast

    Give him support,get him some pro help if he needs it.
    Just be there for him,A person in their right mind will react to harming another person this way and if they don't then there is REALLY something wrong.
    I will say try to steer him away from the drinking if he doesn't stop (or slow down to regular levels) on his own.
    Your family is in my prayers,best wishes.
  18. CrazyIvan

    CrazyIvan G&G Enthusiast

    Sorry to hear about this, but glad the good guy won.

    Just reassure him that the burglar made the choice to die, not him.

    One thing I always have wondered, though...when something like this happens, who cleans up the mess? Is it left to the person living there? Is there some government agency that comes & cleans up the mess? Do you have to hire someone? Is the offender responsible for paying for it to be cleaned up?
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2010
  19. SKS NOOB

    SKS NOOB G&G Evangelist

    We could ask somebody, but NOT the above person. Not to belittle the situation or take off topic, but it reminds me about how so many men, and women I might add, who talk so BIG about being in this kind of situation. They often never THINK of the aftermath and what one would feel afterwards. A person has to be prepared on both emotional counts. Not just one. I will pray for him and please let him know that God doesn't hold anything against a person for defending himself like that. I think ole A.H. would agree, too.
  20. DaTeacha

    DaTeacha Things are not what they seem. Forum Contributor

    Definitely check into the counselor/counseling thing as many have said. For the cleanup, check into victims assistance or the equivalent, ditto for paying for the counseling sessions. LEOs get it free, civilians shouldn't have to suffer financially because of someone breaking the law.