Signs You Are Going to Have a Gun and game Christmas *Wondering if an H&K MP5K will fit in your stocking. *Attempting to convince family that a progressive loading press really is "the gift that keeps on giving." *Alphabetized Christmas-card list begins with "Ayoob, M." *Working up a recipe for "+P+" eggnog. *"Guns" and "Ammo" appear among your requested gifts--and we're not talking a measly magazine subscription here. *Neckties available in wool, silk, polyester....What, no Kevlar? *This year's Christmas lights: Aimpoint red and Trijicon green. *Use finally found for distant relative's annual gift of fruitcake--in your terminal-ballistics testing. ("Against bullets of conventional design, it's roughly equivalent to Threat-Level II body armor.)" *Q: "Honey, what's that cologne you like so much?" A: "Hoppe's #9." *Holiday dessert treats made with ballistic gelatin. *An annual concern: "If a fat old guy with a sleigh and eight reindeer can penetrate my home's security perimeter undetected, what else are we vulnerable to?" *Children stay up to await the approach of Santa's sleigh, watching the skies through a 50x spotting scope. *Your tree's ornaments have all been NP3'd. *Realization that Santa Claus is not a Class III dealer forces a drastic revision of your Christmas list.