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Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jul 20, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You

    Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
    He actually *does* have your tongue.
    You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
    Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
    You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
    As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
    Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
    Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
    Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
    You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
    Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
    Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
    Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
    You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
    Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.