SIGNS YOUR COMPANY IS PLANNING A LAYOFF - The CEO is frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe." - Dr. Kevorkian hired as "Transition Consultant." - Windows 98 shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." - Company softball team down-sized to chess team. - Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns. - Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle." - Company president now driving a Yugo. - Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth. - Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics. - Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by. - Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters. - Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager. - Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Outlet. - Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.