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Signs Your Starship Captain May Be a Redneck

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jun 3, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    Signs Your Starship Captain May Be a Redneck

    your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
    he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
    you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
    he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
    he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
    he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
    he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
    he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
    he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
    he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
    he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
    he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
    he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
    he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
    he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
    he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
    he paints the starship John Deere green
    he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
    he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
    his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
    he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
    his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
    he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
    his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies
    he sets phaser to "Cajun"
  2. Klaus

    Klaus G&G Newbie

    Actually, if he uses the term "good buddy", he is liable to be beaten up by rednecks. Hint: It does not mean what it meant when Smokie and the Bandit came out.