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Star Trek Rednecks

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Jul 4, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    Star Trek Rednecks

    As a member of StarFleet, you know someone's a redneck when:

    His shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month
    He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
    He has a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
    He refers to Klingons as "Critters"
    He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
    He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil
    He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
    He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
    He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
    He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
    He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
    He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
    He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
    He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
    He sets the fore view screen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
    He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
    He paints the starship John Deere green
    He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
    He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
    His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
    He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
    His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
    He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
    His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies
    He sets phaser to "Cajun"
     
  2. Mr (T)

    Mr (T) G&G Newbie

    56
    0
    Great Jokes!

    But do 24th-Century Rednecks still refer to their phasers as their "Roscoe?"

    Thanks!
     

  3. LOL, that's some funny stuff!
    keep 'em comin'
    -Jesse
     
  4. SPOCAHP ANAR

    SPOCAHP ANAR G&G Enthusiast

    What about a gun rack behind his bridge seat, and the rebel flag painted on the top of the starship. And don't forget the spit jar next to his chair.
     
  5. Klaus

    Klaus G&G Newbie

    They also fire empty longnecks at Romulans. And hunt tribbles for food.
     
  6. SPOCAHP ANAR

    SPOCAHP ANAR G&G Enthusiast

    Instead of scanning for signs of life they Scan for hot chicks.

    They have a hood scoop on the warp drive.

    The computer has a southern accent.

    Instead of a holodeck they would have tanning beds.

    Instead of Open hailing frequencies they would say Breaker Breaker 1 9er you gotch ya ears on good buddy.

    He's got a stuffed head on the wall of the bridge from his last kill.
     
  7. Klaus

    Klaus G&G Newbie

    Phacoprana, Doglips already posted "He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"". That is obsolete lingo anyway. If you go to a truck stop and call someone a "good buddy", you will either get beat up or get a surprise.
     
  8. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Yup, heard a trucker get real p o'd last night on the cb for someone calling him "good buddy"!
     
  9. Hey good buddy--good thing you don't know where I live. That's retarded-- What's this flaming world coming to?