Survivor...Texas Style !

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Mooseman684, May 9, 2008.

  1. Mooseman684

    Mooseman684 G&G Newbie

    A major network is planning the next season of the show "Survivor" for this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads,"I'm gay, I voted for OBAMA, and I'm here to confiscate your guns." The first one to make it back to Dallas wins. :196:

  2. CalifgirlinOk

    CalifgirlinOk G&G Evangelist

    If you can survive that in Texas then your a winner for sure........:09:
  3. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    I think a lot would depend on the route each contestant takes. The smart ones would find a dry dirt road, soak the car down, and drive real fast over it to coat the car with a layer of red Texas dirt. Provided it doesn't rain and they stick to self-serve, credit-card-accepting gas pumps, they might make it. I'd plan on driving back roads during the day and making time on the interstate at night, though!
  4. FS00008

    FS00008 Сергей Иванович Мосин. Forum Contributor

    Cyrano, you sure you're not thinking Georgia Red Clay?

    Y'all know if you get Georgia Red Clay on your truck and don't wash it in a few days, that's the new color of your truck :-D
  5. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    No, I'm talking Texas red mud.

    Two decades ago I attended a medievalist celebration near College Station at the Texas RenFair grounds. The weather ranged from hot and dry to rainy and muddy, and the fields where we were encamped (under normal conditions, the parking areas) were not paved. I wasn't the only one there who had made up new undertunics and/or underdresses of white fabric, and I wasn't the only one who fell on his *** in a mud puddle on a muddy road.

    (The worst kersplat I personally saw was one of the Royals from another kingdom who was competing with the rest of us riders in the equestrian tournaments. He made two mistakes. First, he couldn't be bothered to get down to the track early and walk it over, to learn where all the ruts and puddles were. Second, he was still enough of a novice rider that he hadn't had the lesson Never Let Your Heel Rise Above Your Toes hammered into him. As a result, when he ran the rings he didn't know to swerve to the left on leaving the lane and aimed his horse for the puddle. The horse put on the brakes and shot the Prince off over his head into a huge two foot deep mud puddle, into which he belly-flopped and disappeared with a resounding splash. To his credit, the first thing he did after he got up and wiped the mud out of his eyes was go and check his mount for injuries; but the outfit he was wearing was totally ruined by the mud.)

    We learned the hard way that the only hope to save our clothing was to keep it wet and get it into a washing machine as soon as possible. Even then there was no guarantee the red would come out. I had two undertunics I wore for years that came out of the washer pale red. I took them over to the aforementioned mud puddle and stomped them into it, took them out and let them dry, on the advice of the local medievalists. They stayed that same red dirt color ever after.

    I therefore submit that under the proper conditions, Texas red mud is just as permanent a color as Georgia red clay!
  6. so you ride horses was it a jocky saddle? i train horses and ride in a western saddle and i rodeo today i picked up the new fun game of mounted shooting! it was realy fun!
  7. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    New York
    No, elmer, it was a western saddle the Prince was shot out of. I learned on an English saddle and a rein in each hand. I didn't learn western until much later.

    I wish they had that kind of shooting around here! Of course, you'd have to own your own horse and condition it to the sound of gunfire and the smell of burned powder, whcih most don't like. What targets were you shooting from the saddle and what were you shooting with?
  8. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    CY, I will attest to the fact that Texas has evil red mud. When the winds blow out of the west, Texas gets rain that is red mud. That stuff sticks and stains anything it touches.

    As for the Survivor challenge....if I was running it I would make a mad dash to Austin (little San Francisco) then travel only at night. The true test would be the west Texas route through the oil fields. :09: