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The $2.00 bill i tried to spend

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by TNPIRATE, Apr 12, 2013.

  1. TNPIRATE

    TNPIRATE Landlubber Pirate Forum Contributor

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    IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!

    Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!

    ...
    I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

    STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

    Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'


    Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'

    Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

    Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'


    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

    Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
    Manager: 'No. A what?'
    Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
    Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
    Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

    He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

    Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
    Server: 'I don't know.'
    Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
    Server: 'Yeah.'
    Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
    Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

    He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

    Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
    Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
    Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
    Server: 'What should I do?'
    Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
    Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
    Manager: 'Just tell him.'
    Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

    The manager approaches me and says,
    'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

    Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
    Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
    Me: 'Why not?'
    Manager: 'I think you know why.'
    Me: 'No really, tell me why.'

    Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
    Me: 'Excuse me?'
    Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
    Me: 'What on earth for?'
    Manager: 'Please, sir..'

    Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
    Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
    Me: 'No.'
    Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
    Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

    At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.



    A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

    Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
    Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
    Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
    Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
    Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
    Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
    Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
    Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
    Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
    Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
    Guard: 'Yeah.'

    Security Guard walks over to me and......
    Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
    Me: 'Uh, no.'
    Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
    Me: 'Why?'
    Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

    At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
    Manager: 'It's fake.'
    Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
    Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
    Guard: 'Yeah? '
    Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

    The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

    So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

    Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

    Just think... those two are of the age to be voting!!!

    NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?


    482260_4631263021524_767086509_n.jpg

    :swordfight:
     
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  2. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

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    I used to like using Silver Certificates and the funky Suzie B dollars...... lots of folks don't think they are 'real money' either. :35:
     
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    Last edited: Apr 13, 2013
  3. cabinnut

    cabinnut G&G Evangelist

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    Reminds me of when I'm traveling and get a young, no-clue clerk - I'll very seriously ask him/her if they take out-of-state cash, then stand back and try not to laugh as they go seek out the manager! Good for a boring day.
     
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  4. gsbuickman

    gsbuickman G&G Evangelist

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    Ha:) ha:) ha:) ha:) ha:) ha:) ha:) now that's funny chit' right there Pirate my find......... I've got sme of those ol' bills kucking around myself. As a matter of fact I just framed an early $2 bill for theman cave ,,,,,,,,,,,
     
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  5. TACAV

    TACAV G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    I've done the same thing with the more common $1 coins. Everyone thinks your giving them quarters and then they stop and look all befuddled like you just dropped a bunch of moon rocks in their hand.
     
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  6. gunnerdave

    gunnerdave G&G Enthusiast Forum Contributor

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    That's a great story!

    Sadly, it just shows how comon stupudity is.

    No wonder this country is in the shape it is.

    I'm tempted to go to the bank and get some $2 bills, just for fun.

    As stupid as so many people are, I'm surprised you couldn't pass a $3 bill with Klinton's picture on it.
     
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  7. MosinRuger

    MosinRuger G&G Evangelist

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    I have a lucky $2 bill I keep in my wallet that i have had since i can remember. Im only 28 and i remember when they were still around.
     
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  8. Mantrid_Brizon

    Mantrid_Brizon G&G Evangelist

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    I found, and saved a vintage $2 bill. I knew what it was the second I saw it, and I'm only 23. We aren't all like them. lol
     
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  9. caopai

    caopai G&G Addict

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    There are many local businesses who give change in 50 cent pieces and two dollar bills. I find that a two dollar bill is easier to use than dollar bills, and can't help but think that if we would have listened to Jefferson, it wouldn't be that way.
     
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  10. GlockMeister

    GlockMeister G&G Evangelist

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    Thanks for the laugh TN. My wife and I were both cracking up. :D

    I wonder what would happen if someone tried spending one of those colorized $2 dollar bills? lol
     
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  11. Seabeescotty

    Seabeescotty G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    Gunner, I have THREE of those three dollar bills with Klinton's ugly mug on 'em! Hmm, maybe I should............NO! Those ARE fake, and would get my teakettle hauled in to the bad place for real stupidity! But I guess I need to go and get some more REAL two's and get out and have some FUN! I have a hard time with the lack of intelligence in so many who have the right documents that allow them to VOTE! It's NO WONDER we are in DEEP DOO-DOO!
     
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  12. OneHitWonder

    OneHitWonder G&G Newbie

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    They only issued $2 bills twice. 1976 and1981 I think. Would have to go dig them up right now to be sure of the exact years.

    Now get some Susan B. Anthony 1$ coins ,and really blow minds.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 13, 2013
  13. TNPIRATE

    TNPIRATE Landlubber Pirate Forum Contributor

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    I though ya'lls would like that:biglaugh:

    :swordfight:
     
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  14. Earl Easter

    Earl Easter G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    Good story.... thanks for the laugh....
     
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  15. Bigfoot

    Bigfoot G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    Good laugh there TNPIRATE, Sad our youth has to get their education at Taco Bell though. Just think how many you could educate with a wallet full of them.:trink26:
     
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  16. TNPIRATE

    TNPIRATE Landlubber Pirate Forum Contributor

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    Yeah that would be funny.
    Have you ever been in a fast food joint when the electric has a glitch and goes off for a second and they are tryin to get everything back on line?
    I did one time. The clerks can not even count change back without the computer cash register to tell them what to give back to the customer. Something that I learned in school. I remember as a kid with one of my first jobs, I was having problems with some parts of that. My dad sat me down and we went through drill after drill after drill on how to count change back.
    Are kids even taught this in school anymore?
    They never count the change back to you. They just say here you ya go and hand you a hand full of change.
    Sad days in America that's for sure.

    :swordfight:
     
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  17. TACAV

    TACAV G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    ha even lots of the new machines just spew out your loose coins already electronically counted for you into a little scoop tray for the customer.

    All the human has to do is hand you the paper bills.
     
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  18. Bigfoot

    Bigfoot G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    I've had quite a few that never stated what you are giving them and what they are making change from. First cardinal rule i was taught on a register was to always say "out of twenty" , or something like that. Whatever the denomination was make shure both parties acknowledge it as it is being tendered. I've seen some real debates happen when this is not done. I notice lately they don't say anything, just hand back change.
    I guess with everything done by plastic and electronics these days, unless they see it displayed on a screen they are lost. What will they do if the power grid ever goes down? :thinking:
     
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  19. caopai

    caopai G&G Addict

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    No, we were forced to learn calculus when only a small fraction of us will ever use it, so we can look like we are keeping up with other countries.
     
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  20. TheJoker

    TheJoker G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    Outstanding, TNPIRATE! Nothing like entertaining interaction with a couple of sheeple.

    Your encounter sort of explains in a nutshell our current political situation.

    The clueless counter person is one thing; but, a clueless manager is sort of scary. Apparently, the bar at taco Bell isn't very high!

    I'm definitely asking for a few $2 bills next time I am in the bank.
     
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