The Church Dinner

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Wicked109, Jan 16, 2018.

  1. Wicked109

    Wicked109 G&G Evangelist


    A group of friends from the Cottonwood Community Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

    When it came time for Fred and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."

    He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

    She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."

    He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."

    So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.

    Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

    The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Janet's ear.

    She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."

    Janet went into hysterics.

    After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

    The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."

    Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.

    The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

    One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

    After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Janet, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
    Fla_dogman, timv, Merle and 11 others like this.
  2. Wicked109

    Wicked109 G&G Evangelist

    That's what happens when you don't give the important details fast enough.

  3. my1871colt45

    my1871colt45 G&G Evangelist

    Bet that's the end of the church dinners at peoples homes. And most will probably never eat a mushroom again.
    neophyte and grizcty like this.
  4. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    If I never ate another mushroom in my life. It would not bother me one bit!
    neophyte likes this.
  5. my1871colt45

    my1871colt45 G&G Evangelist

    I like mushrooms. But I have never had wild ones. Our neighbor lady Eileen (no she has both legs) picks mushrooms every year. I have given her permission to pick on our property also. But I don't want any. I'll buy them at the store when we want them.
    Wicked109, jwrauch and neophyte like this.
  6. mdj696

    mdj696 G&G Evangelist

    The wife as a child has a little brother that ate mushrooms in their yard and they killed him. Atlanta area.
  7. Since I'm deathly allergic to mushrooms I wouldn't have touched anything at that church supper. Too much risk of cross contamination.

    Heck, I won't touch anything on a buffet if it's within 3 containers of something with mushrooms because people are stupid.