Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. Good: Your son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's your best friend. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.