The Liberal Operating System To help the common user in it's struggle against the tyranny of the monopolistic giant Microsoft we are proud to present the newest operating system, Liberal OS 2001 version 2.1. This operating system will aid users in all applications by removing the user's responsibility. "The less the user is responsible for, the less can go wrong." said co-creator, Al Gore. "Liberal OS will do for computer users what liberalism has done for Americans." added Hillary Clinton. Let's take a look at this unique operating system. The user will not have a choice of the wallpaper that is shown on the monitor. Instead, the operating system will randomly flash pictures of liberal heroes. For example, one time you might have a picture of Bill Clinton, reboot and you could see a photo of JFK. Here is a partial list of available pictures that will be shown on your pc once you install Liberal OS: Bill Clinton John F. Kennedy Ted Kennedy Mikhail Gorbachev Hillary Clinton FDR Fidel Castro Joseph Stalin Karl Marx The Liberal OS will also function differently than other operating systems. There will be incremental changes that the user will probably be unaware of. The operating system will gradually need more hard drive space will slowly expand until there is no more room. The Liberal OS will also monitor how the user uses his/her applications. If the operating system finds an application that is not helpful to the user, the following error will appear: "ERROR:This operating system has deemed this application unsuitable for your needs. All files and folders associated with this application will be deleted" Users of all kinds will benefit from the intrusive nature of this operating system. Never before has a system been so willing to moderate the behavior of its users. Another example of this would be surfing the web, the operating system refers to the user as "Web Serfer" while connected to the Internet. If a user tried to venture to a site like NRA.org or a site with a pro-life theme, the user will receive the following message: "--HATE SPEECH WARNING-- The site you are trying to access may contain hate speech! This operating system has redirected you to h t t p peta.org" This will also serve to protect the children from seeing such sites. The good news is that freedom of expression won't be hindered by this web browser moderating. Pornographic and other political sites (NAMBLA, UN.org and others) will not suffer from the browser restrictions. The creators of this system deemed that sexually explicit sites are art. They also thought that users should be exposed to the diversity of special interest groups that may not have a presence in their community. The Liberal OS has taken every aspect of social concerns into its functions. Check out the following message when a user tries to print: "--ENVIRONMENTAL WARNING-- Are you sure you want to print this file or page? Remember each sheet of paper is ripped out of a tree created by Mother Earth. Be kind to our natural resources" The operating system is able to correct certain critical errors by evaluating the overall need for the application it is in conflict with. In Windows (95, 98 or NT) when an application causes an error, usually a user has to reboot. In Liberal OS, that might be the case, or an error such as this may appear. "--CRITICAL ERROR-- This application has committed a critical error. However, the operating system has benefitted fronm this application and the error will be pardoned." Liberal OS has a unique way of monitoring applications. If an application is used more often than others and has used more memory on the hard drive, the operating system will break up the application files and hide them in other applications. This will promote the fair usage of all applications. Users will be treated to other benefits from this new operating system. Some things are subtle, like the messages hidden on the task bars of open windows. Here is sample of the subliminal messages: "Oral Sex is not sex!" "Embrace World Socialism!" "You don't need a tax cut!" As the operating system gains more control of the pc other applications begin to work less, until they become too dependent on the OS to do any functions on their own. It is at this point when all applications can work in unity without the threat of fatal errors. Ironically, it is also the time the user will need to upgrade to a larger hard drive to compensate for the insatiable appetite of the Liberal OS. We hope you enjoy this application and true freedom it will allow you.