The New and Improved, "OH HELL, LETS OFFEND EVERYBODY" ... some posts may not be "family friendly".

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by animalspooker, Oct 17, 2016.

  1. mitchr

    mitchr G&G Evangelist

    6,736
    13,651

    My boss wanted to meet at a Starbucks! When I ordered coffee, black, the clerk looked at me like I'd grown horns! :rolleyes: Worse swill I've ever had!
     
  2. blue fox

    blue fox G&G Evangelist

    neophyte likes this.

  3. TXplt

    TXplt Gun Toting Boeing Driver Forum Contributor

    “Hello folks from the flight deck. Blah blah blah..... By the way, I’d like to ask if it’s possible for half of the beautiful but more full figured ladies on the left side of the airplane to switch places with a skinny person on the right side.”
     
    Mindy up North, blaster and neophyte like this.
  4. 63B20

    63B20 G&G Evangelist

    794
    1,386
    Montana
    Rosie please move to mid plane thank you
     
    Mindy up North, neophyte and TXplt like this.
  5. runfiverun

    runfiverun G&G Evangelist

    at the front.
     
    neophyte likes this.
  6. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

    17,932
    32,773
    I am almost surprised airlines don't require your weight before you can even buy a plane ticket.
     
  7. TXplt

    TXplt Gun Toting Boeing Driver Forum Contributor

    There’s a standard weight (probably a little on the light side still even though the FAA adjusted it upward a few years ago) for male and female used. Checked baggage is weighed. But Boeing puts enough of a fudge factor in that it’s not a problem power wise. For smaller airplanes I think they may actually ask lol (and in light aircraft you actually do a weight and balance with real weights).

    In the old days I have heard that scales were cleverly concealed under carpets at the check in counter. Couldn’t ask a corpulent matron her weight or expect a truthful response even if you could.
     
    Merle and neophyte like this.
  8. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf G&G Evangelist

    1,532
    2,472
    Phoenix
    I had a GF in my youth actually call it that!
    I also had a friend who told the local idiot that the "R" meant racing! Idiot tried it out one day, with the expected result!
     
  9. PaleHawkDown

    PaleHawkDown G&G Evangelist

    17,932
    32,773
    The one that irks me is how for domestic and international flights in and from America you are allowed 50 lbs of luggage, but then you are allowed 50kg on the way back from other countries. This means that 50 is an arbitrary number and the airlines are basically scamming Americans solely for the fact we do not use the metric system. Either that or gravity is magically greater in America. I had to throw things away at the Birmingham airport because we were HALF A POUND OVER and didn't want to sell a kidney for a second 50 pounds. Then I get a FREE 60 pounds on the return trip that my wife took full advantage of.
     
    TXplt, Merle and neophyte like this.
  10. Mindy up North

    Mindy up North G&G Evangelist

    Gosh, with some of the planes I've had to take flying into remote places, stepping on a scale is mandatory. I have even seen pilots adjust fuel loads with nalgene bottles lol! Every time I step foot on a commercial flight these days and the general passenger population all appear to be dedicated McDonalds patrons, I often think to myself..."overload...I am going to die!"
     
  11. Stickman

    Stickman Less well known member Forum Contributor

    Good question, when I was flying bush planes in the 80s we did weigh everyone. We actually got very good at eyeballing someones weight.

    It doesn't reflect very well on us that we routinely flew quite a bit over what was legal.
     
    Merle, TXplt and neophyte like this.
  12. TXplt

    TXplt Gun Toting Boeing Driver Forum Contributor

    Some see frustration.

    I see boundless opportunity :)

    (Oliver didn't marry Lisa for her cooking or driving skills ;) )

    (just have an exit strategy and a way for her never to be able to contact you again after you take your boundless opportunities)
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2020
    neophyte likes this.
  13. Jaison

    Jaison G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    Lisa was flat out gorgeous!
     
    neophyte, Gun Junkie and TXplt like this.
  14. Huh? What?

    Huh? What? G&G Evangelist

    5,395
    10,759
    Central AZ
    I hate to say this, but...

    No, I don't.

    My dad was an auto engineer for AMC and later Chrysler. I never heard him refer to the "gear shift" on an automatic trans as anything but a prndl (pronounced either prindle, or perndle).
     
    austinjoe13, TXplt and neophyte like this.
  15. BigEd63

    BigEd63 G&G Evangelist

    4,099
    8,993
    Arkansas
    And if malfunc
    And if it malfunctions on your vehicle it is often called several different things. All of which are auto censored here.