The Top 10 Changes That Could Be Made To Operation TIPS

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 16, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    The Top 10 Changes That Could Be Made To Operation TIPS By Laurence SimonWell, the Justice Department's terrorism tip line plan is being overhauled so that it can better help the children, provide new jobs, boost the economy, protect the environment for future generations, and better fit the idea of what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

    So, how are they changing the TIPS plan?

    10) Lynch mobs will have to provide own rope, but the cost of the rope will be tax-deductible. Be sure to use IRS Form A667-E "Vigilantism/Quasi-Law Enforcement Expenses."

    9) More partnerships with the private sector: hotline will be run by Domino's Pizza. If the suspect isn't arrested and detained in 30 minutes or less, your pizza is free.

    8) Mascot changed from snarling rat to happy fluffy bunny. Due to printing glitch, it's name is still "Rizzo the Ratfink."

    7) Only guys named Tom allowed to peep through keyholes, but windows are fair game for all.

    6) Truckers given immunity for potential road accidents and fatalities when they use the plea "Not guilty by reason of preventing terrorism."

    5) Arabic-language web site now contains message from Colin Powell: "Ignore all that other stuff - we're still your allies and best friends, right?"

    4) New project for minors set up: Federal Informant Network for Kids.

    3) Phrase "Otherwise the terrorists will already have won" phrase replaced with "Otherwise the terrorists will run up the score to rub it in our faces."

    2) Wait a minute... the man organizing your neighborhood watch group might be a terrorist, too. Better turn him in for questioning.

    1) The New Operation TIPS Slogan 'So remember... spying on your neighbor keeps us all free!'