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The Top 15 Signs Your Company Has Accounting Problems

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 24, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    The Top 15 Signs Your Company Has Accounting Problems

    In lieu of a paycheck, you receive a stack of twenties with identical serial numbers.

    "Your attention, please: All employees who own homes with really big fireplaces are asked to report to the accounting department ASAP."

    The IRS has called in a SWAT team to assist in the yearly audit.

    Annual report shows everyone has, in fact, given 110 percent.

    Financial reports are delayed due to shortage of magenta printer cartridges.

    Accounting department owns 28 microwaves, 5 industrial ovens and a walk-in kiln.

    Your company tries to stay out of the black between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

    Your company's NYSE Symbol: SIKE

    You haven't seen this much shredded crap since you worked at Taco Bell.

    Your receptionist now answers the company phone only on the advice of her attorney.

    Your shrewd businessman of a leader managed to turn a huge surplus into a huge deficit in a single fiscal year. (Federal government only)

    Latest shareholder report brags of 300% growth in the new "Emperor Clothing" division.

    Playboy is setting up in the lobby for their "Women of Hufnagel's Bakery" photo shoot.

    Old slogan: "The customer is always right."
    New Slogan: "We wish to assert our Fifth Amendment Rights."

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Company Has Accounting Problems...


    Chief Financial Officer MC Hammer assures you that "it's all good."
     
  2. Klaus

    Klaus G&G Newbie

    The government, unlike businesses, does not actually generate income and is not supposed to have a surplus.