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The Undeniable Truths Of The Workplace

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Aug 14, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips G&G Newbie

    The Undeniable Truths Of The Workplace

    * The lowest managerial priority is customer service, but the highest priority is persecuting the workers.

    * The only person who can get three days off in a week is the general manager.

    * Being promoted to a supervisor is actually a demotion considering the fact that you just sold your soul.

    * The arrogance level of any given member of management is inversely proportional to their intelligence quotient.

    * Don't worry about management's stepping in to do workers' jobs during a strike. They can't run the place with us, so how can they run it without us?

    * Don't ever get caught reading anything on the job; the management want to keep us as clueless as they are.

    * All managers suffer from selective amnesia; they can only remember Union contract agreements when it benefits their cause.

    * The amount of favoritism you receive from management is directly proportional to the amount of a** you kiss and inversely proportional to the quality of work you perform.

    * Whenever management posts a letter of thanks to the workers, the employees will again be treated like crap within two minutes of the posting.

    * The chances that an employee's idea will ever be implemented are inversely proportional to its ultimate good.

    * A new supervisor who has worked for only two days is always construed to know more than workers who have worked in the company for years.

    * As soon as a supervisor is promoted to a manager, an inexplicable, sudden drop of 50 IQ points will occur.

    * The accountability of the workers is inversely proportional to the accountability of the supervisors and managers.

    * If management accidentally discovers that an employee is smart, more work will be expected from that employee.

    * Succeeding at the workplace is simply a matter of rising above everyone else's incompetence.

    * The more a worker gets yelled at by a manager, the more that worker can take comfort in the fact that they are right.

    * In the workplace, incompetence perpetuates itself.

    * If a rule does not exist that supports the position of management, they will make one up on the spot.

    * You will never get paid for any overtime or extra hours you work unless you catch the forthcoming error and report it to the same management who tried to get away with it in the first place.

    * Whenever a new rule or procedure is implemented, the employees must be given either no notice or as little notice as possible.

    * The greatest possible threat to any given manager is an employee who is smarter than they are.

    * Whenever management comes out with a so-called "policy," it is merely an attempt on their part to circumvent a provision in the Union contract that they don't like.

    * In the workplace, managerial incompetence flows from the top on down.
     
  2. Mick

    Mick G&G Addict

    That reminds me of a saying that I heard.
    A workplace is like a tree full of monkeys, when the ones up top look down all they see is smiling faces, when the ones down below look up all they see is a@#holes.
     

  3. Reminds me of where I work. There are 2 out houses built on top of each other like bunk beds. Top one for executive bottom one for employees.:D :D
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2002
  4. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Where/when do you suppose the first disagreement occured between labor and management? Now I mean from earliest times. Was it Adam while he was picking apples for Eve? Did he file a grievance. Didn't make any difference. So the same old story goes on and on from earliest times. (ha)

    Oxford
     
  5. PAPA G

    PAPA G G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    Doglip speaked trut, him no skor:rolleyes: :D :D :D