The Unofficial Drivers Test

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Sep 19, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    The Unofficial Drivers Test

    We've all seen it. People change when they get behind the wheel of a car.
    So now, to profile your personality, here is the special Driving Test...

    1: Which part of your car wears out most often?
    a: the wiper blades
    b: the belts
    c: the horn

    2: Automatic door locks are good for...
    a: security
    b: convenience
    c: messing with the heads of people trying to get in

    3: I hate the rain because...
    a: it lowers visibility and makes for less safe conditions
    b: I answered (a) to question #1
    c: I just washed my car

    4: Please select the statement that best describes you.
    a: I have never written in the dust on someone's car
    b: I have written "wash me" in the dust on someone's car
    c: I have drawn genitalia in the dust on someone's car

    5: The "bright" setting on your headlights is for...
    a: dark, poorly lit roads
    b: flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
    c: revenge!

    6: I have enough power in my car stereo system to...
    a: get it loud enough to drown out road noise
    b: get it headbanging loud for my Metallica CD
    c: cause permanent hearing loss to anyone within ten feet

    7: How many times have you been pulled over for speeding in the last year?
    a: zero or one, because I'm generally a safe driver
    b: two or three, because I've had some unlucky breaks
    c: before or after they took my license away?

    8: What hand gesture do you use most while driving?
    a: "go ahead"
    b: "thank you"
    c: "@#!*&%^!"

    9: When a bicyclist is next to you, you should...
    a: be aware of them
    b: speed up and get past them
    c: open the door

    10: Your rear view mirror is for...
    a: watching for approaching cars
    b: watching for approaching police cars
    c: checking your hair

    11: If you are driving and you begin to feel very sleepy, you should...
    a: pull off to the side of the road and rest
    b: stop at the next convenience mart and get a liter of coffee or Mountain Dew
    c: drive faster

    12: The Highway Patrol exists to...
    a: ensure the safety of all motorists
    b: issue as many tickets as possible
    c: keep donut shops in business

    13: You are supposed to signal a turn or lane change...
    a: 50 feet prior
    b: 25 feet prior
    c: right after you do it

    14: If I had a lot of money, I'd spend it on...
    a: a minivan
    b: a really cool sports car or 4-wheeler
    c: bail

    15: The best thing about a chauffered limousine is...
    a: I don't have to drive
    b: I can stretch out, relax, and have a drink
    c: leaning out the open sunroof and shouting at and/or flashing people

    How to score the quiz:

    Give yourself one point for every A, two for every B, and three for
    every C. Tally up the points and consult the list below.

    15-24 Points
    You're a good driver. You watch the speed limit, remain calm, and
    observe not only the rules of the road, but also the etiquette. And
    since you drive so safely and so politely, you'll live a long time.
    Long enough to decelerate with each passing decade until you're one of
    those old people in a big car, going ten miles under the speed limit
    in the fast lane and pissing all the rest of us off.

    25-35 Points
    Hey! Joe Average! You're a decent driver without being boring. You
    get where you're going fast without too much danger. In fact, you're
    the type of person we all like to ride with. Well, all of us except
    your mother, because "you're going too fast! Watch out for that car
    in front of you! You're going to kill us all!"

    36-45 Points
    Remember in driver's education class when they told us to drive
    defensively? You're the reason.
  2. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    24 points - Surprised I got that high. I'm the original Mr. Traffic Laws. Got to work on that - boring! :rolleyes:

  3. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Look out Mama, I'm coming down the road!

    About 40 years ago (1960-1965) I was teaching drivers education to 15 year old H.S. sophomores and to adults in an evening community education program in Lawrence, Kansas.

    Wish I'd had the test you posted back then. They might have done better on your test then on the one I gave them.(ha)

    Those were interesting driving wrecks but lots of dumb (poor driving) things happened.
    Oxford:nod: :D :D
  4. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    Actually, I was one of two students who wrecked Drivers Ed cars that year in high school (true!). During the final on-road drive, the instructor (my PE coach) rode with one hand on the door handle, ready to bail! I'm much better, now. ;)
  5. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Big Dog: You mean there's hope for those students.(ha) We had a great time during those driving sessions. Three in the back seat and one driving with me ready to bail out. We drove every day, regardless of the weather. Thought that was an opportunity to learn under not so ideal conditions. I learned not to say "turn right at the corner". The safest way for me to say that was, "At the corner, turn right". Some of them did the first thing they heard you say. We ended up in a ditch once when that happened.(ha)

    Oxford:D :nod:
  6. Tanasi

    Tanasi Guest

    I already had my DL when I took Driver's Ed and had been driving for several years (grew up on a farm). I had the reputation of being a wild driver and the first time out the teacher told me that if I broke one law he would kick me out of class. I got to drive a few miles on the interstate before he made me pull over an switch places. First day went OK, next day not so well and I got kicked out. Of all people my Great-aunt pulled out infront of us at the grocery store, I took the ditch to keep from hitting her and totaled the K-car.
  7. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    We wiped out a mail box and ran over a dog. Also broke up my set of spring loaded stancions used for practicing parallel parking.