The urine test

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 22, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
    "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
    "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it
    a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do
    about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot
    cheaper than a doctor."

    So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore.
    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
    sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
    the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in
    warm water and avoid heavy activity.

    It will improve in two weeks."

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
    began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
    daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

    Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He
    deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bath him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Ha! Thats one of the funniest ones I've seen on here, thanks for the gut laugh Oxford!

  3. Eric

    Eric Guest

    I heard that a long time ago. I'd forgotten it, I'm still laughing. Thanks!

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    I studied for my urine test but still flunked! :D