These greetings didn't quite make the first cut for Hallmark cards....

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Aug 12, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    My tire was a thumpin'. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire...
    I noticed your cat. Sorry!

    Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder ...
    What in the world was I thinking?

    Congratulations on your wedding day!
    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    How could two people as beautiful as you...
    Have such an ugly baby?

    I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
    After having met you ... I've changed my mind.

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...
    I never believed in Hell till I met you.

    As the days go by, I think of how fortunate I am...
    That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go ... would you like to take this knife out of my back?
    You'll probably need it again.

    Someday I hope to get married ...
    but not to you.

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age...
    Almost Lifelike!

    When we were together, you always said you'll die for me.
    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    We have been friends for a very long time...
    what say we stop?

    I'm so miserable without you ...
    it's almost like you're here.

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
    Did you ever find out who the father was?

    Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
    So we're having you put to sleep.

    16. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Alabama and Arkansas):D