Things Not to Say to Your New Girlfriend's Parents - My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. - Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? - Can you believe it! Those idiots at the corner market won't cash my welfare check! - We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. - Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion. - Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her. - Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it? - There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too. - Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.