sits down on a barstool and orders up a drink. He's dressed in a really sharp, nice looking suit. He starts to shoot the breeze with the barkeeper. The barkeep says "That sure is a sharp looking suit" He says "Thanks. My daughter got married this morning and I came in here to celebrate. Thats why I have on the suit. My wife bought it for me to wear to the wedding." He knocks a few back and before long he's pretty sloshed. Eventually he gets up and stumbles off to the mens room. After a little while he comes tottering back and says "Gimme anozzer one barkeeper" The barkeep looks at him and the guy has puke all down the front of his jacket. The barkeep says "Geewhiz buddy, you've had too many. I can't serve you any more. You need to go on home." The guy says "I can't go home like dis. I done barfed on meself. My wife will kill me." The barkeep says "I've got an idea. Do you have any $20 bills?" The guy says "Urp, yesh I haz a few." The barkeep says "Give me one then" The guys digs a bill out of his pocket and hands it to the barkeep. The barkeep sticks the bill in his front jacket pocket and says "Now when you get home tell your wife you were heading out of the bar when this other drunk fell on you and puked on your jacket. He felt so bad about what he had done he stuck a $20 bill in your pocket so you could get it dry cleaned." The guy nods his head "Hey thas a good idear. Ish jus might werk." So the drunk guy stumbles off and goes home. When he gets there, there is the wife waiting. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" She sees the jacket. MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR JACKET?" So the drunk guy tells her. "Baby, I wuz on my way out, when diss drunk guy stumbles and falls on me. He threw up all over my jacket. But he felt so bad about what he did he stuck a $20 bill in my front pocket so I could get it dry cleaned." She says "Let me see" and reaches in his front pocket and pulls out the money. She begins to beleive him when she notices that there are two $20 bills. She asks "Hey there's two $20 bills here. Whats the other one for?" "Oh" he says "Thats cuz he also crapped in my pants."