This Pizza Crust is Like Cardboard....

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Mooseman684, Sep 21, 2010.

  1. Mooseman684

    Mooseman684 G&G Newbie

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    My Gf, Red, is a great Cook and makes just about anything in the world.
    The Other Night , I bought a box of Frozen DiGiorno Pizzas that you bake.
    She pulled one out and baked it, and when it was served , I tried to cut it with the pizza cutter....I couldnt get the thing to cut....It was like cardboard.
    Finally I asked her..."Did you remove the Cardboard it was on ?", she gave me a funny look and said "What Cardboard"...
    She had baked the cardboard into the crust. She Had never had or fixed a frozen Pizza before last nite, she had always made them from scratch , but with her in recovery , I figured it would be easier on her...
    She just defended herself by saying..."Im a Hick , I never fixed one of them Newfangled things before"...But Now she Knows better....LOL
    God , I Love her !!!
     
  2. texnmidwest

    texnmidwest Sir Loin of Beef Forum Contributor

    Moose that is priceless!!!! You do have a wonderful woman there! Give that hick a big hug from me!!!
     

  3. Ninja Piper

    Ninja Piper G&G Evangelist

    Outstanding!! My wife did that once
     
  4. Paul T

    Paul T G&G Newbie

    Can you use the same excuse for the toilet seat?
     
  5. Mooseman684

    Mooseman684 G&G Newbie

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    The outhouse seat is Styrofoam (Instant warm buns at -40) and stays in Place....LOL
     
  6. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    My wife, has done the same before too.

    Remember, they all have blond roots!
     
  7. gamehunter

    gamehunter G&G Evangelist

    My wife heated up a hotdog for me once and forgot to take it out of the paper wrapper tasted like burned paper lol
     
  8. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    Too funny Moose !! At least you didn't eat two pieces before you figured it out, LOL !!
     
  9. Tracer

    Tracer G&G Aussie Dad

    thats a waste of a good pizza!
     
  10. .22guy

    .22guy G&G Enthusiast

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    That would be a good source of fiber!
     
  11. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

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    I once cooked a London Broil with the little plastic pillow the meat sits on in the styrofoam tray stuck to the underside of the meat. Didn't seem to affect the flavor any; but then again, I do London Broil in its own juices in a glass pan in the oven instead of broiling it most of the time.
     
  12. Bigfoot

    Bigfoot G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    Well have you ever had a turkey cooked with the neck, and giblets, etc inside. still in the paper bags? I hadn't either until my newfound love placed it on the table. She was so proud of serving her first turkey dinner. It was so hard to carve that without busting a gut laughing. I hurt so bad from not laughing i couldn't eat much, and of course she wanted to know why. An argument insued, she insisted that thats what everybody else does. But you would have to know she also thought the comb on a roosters head was called a c^%k. I then tried to explain that that was what they call a male bird sometimes. This is a comical argument we still participate in at times, as i ask her if she has ever seen a male chicken with a doinker on his head. I love the girl, but she is so out in Pluto sometimes.
     
  13. Tigercat200

    Tigercat200 G&G Evangelist

    Here's a tip I learned early in our marriage. Don't aggravate her when she has a meat fork in her hand. It will stick in drywall about head high. Fortunately, my reflexes were really good that day.
     
  14. Paul T

    Paul T G&G Newbie

    I know I am strange most of the time but when I got off of work my wife had a big roast I knew that was supposed to be waiting for me but I came home to her and she was crying. It seems that she had left it there for about an hour longer and about 150 deg. higher than she was supposed to. like the loving husband that I am I consoled her and ate it all. It had lost about 7 lbs. in the oven and the scorched and cremated beef went down well with copious amounts of Fosters.
     
  15. CopperniX

    CopperniX G&G Hall Monitor Staff Member

    Lol she knew bout the cardboard she just wanted you to get your fiber... HAHA.
     
  16. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

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    One time when I autocratted a medieval event and feast in the SCA, we had kitchen troubles. The first was when the town, which owned the meetinghouse we had contracted to use, tried to slide the site out from under us "because it's the same day as the Fire Department's Ladies' Auxiliary Strawberry Festival, and they always use the kitchen that day."

    I asked if they were paying for the use of the kitchen. The selectmen said no. I pointed out that I had a signed contract for the use of the hall on that date, including the kitchen, and had paid in advance; and I didn't care what was "always" done, I wanted that kitchen AND the hall ready to go no later than noon. They wanted to keep us out until 4 PM. We finally worked out a compromise where the Ladies' Auxiliary had to be out of the kitchen by 2 PM and leave it clean and ready for us to use, and be out of the building completely by 3 PM so we could reset the hall for our feast.

    It was an annoyance rather than a disaster because my Chief Cook lived right next door to the hall and the things that had to have long cooking, like the slow-roasted beef, could be done in her kitchen. We could the carry them up the hill to the hall and warm them before serving. The trouble was, the timer on her oven had broken and she didn't know it.

    The first clue we had that something was wrong was when the smoke detector went off. She dashed in, shut off the oven, and discovered all three of the big roasts has burned. She reported this to me in tears when I got back from running the Quest that accompanied the feast.

    They looked grim, but I knew looks can be deceiving. I took her carving knife and sliced off the end of one of the roasts. The burned part only went in about an eighth of an inch. I thought for a minute and turned to her husband.

    "Go get me a case of regular Coke in 2 liter bottles. I think I can save this."

    I scrubbed out the aluminum washpan she usually used for things like shelling peas and set it in the sink. Using the carving knife, I sliced off the ends and cored the burned roasts, recovering about three-quarters of the meat. He and then beat the hell out of them with meat tenderizing mallets and put the cores into the washpan. Then I poured the Coke over them, completely immersing them in the cola. My chief cook stood by, watching this with unbelieving eyes.

    I told her, "Let the roasts sit until an hour and 15 minutes before they are due to be served. Then put them in clean pans in a warm oven and baste them every 10 minutes with the Coke they soaked in. Throw on some onion power if you want to with each basting, a lot of it. After an hour and five minutes, pull them out of the oven, put them on the serving platters and take them up to be sliced. It's the best we can do."

    The roasts turned out very tender if medium-well done, thanks to the beating with the mallets and having been soaked in acidic Coca-Cola for an hour and then being basted with it. The surface caramelized, which I hadn't expected but had hoped might happen, and everyone raved about the 'caramelized beef.' We just didn't tell them this new dish was the result of a magnificent improvisation!
     
  17. CalifgirlinOk

    CalifgirlinOk G&G Evangelist

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    She might have thought it was a pizza pan.
     
  18. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    When my newly married eldest daughter decided to make her first Thanksgiving dinner, she called several times with questions. When the day came, the bird went in bright and early and she called me to boast. I asked her if the had rinsed the bird out, etc after defrosting. She started crying right away as she had stuck the bird in frozen !! They had turkey loaf with all the trimmings, LOL !!