Thoughts to Ponder

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Sep 2, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved,
    and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to
    share yours with them.

    5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to
    deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on
    cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

    6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

    8.When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives
    a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

    9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    10. Never lick a steak knife.

    11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

    12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why
    we observe daylight savings time.

    14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you
    think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal
    about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,
    economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe
    that we are above average drivers.

    17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

    18. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

    19. Practice does not make perfect but Perfect practice makes perfect.