Top 10 Closing Arguments by Johnnie Cochran for Clinton 10. If the dress ain't a mess, he won't need to confess. 9. The economy's great, let the White Boy skate. 8. If the ***** didn't spit, you must acquit. 7. If she is not spread eagle, then it is not illegal. 6. Lewinsky's a whore, and Bill's better than Gore. 5. So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some asses. 4. He cheats on his wife, but it's his personal life. 3. Bill can't tell the truth till he sees Ken Starr's proof. 2. Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky's just easy. 1. If the sex is just oral, it's not really immoral.