TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE 10. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 9. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 8. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. 7. You rob Peter...and then rob Paul. 6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 5. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 4. Your bologna has no first name. 3. Sally Struthers sends you food. 2. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments. And The Number #1 Sign You Are Broke Is: 1. At communion you go back for seconds.